My Spiritual Journey
Taken on Four Mile Lagoon in Belize, C.A.
I started this journey some 28 years ago and never completed it. Now with the loss of my husband Jim on November 1, 2011 at 1:20 PM in Corozal Town, Corozal, Belize C.A., I am trying to find who I am without him by my side, I am starting it all over again from the very beginning. I am incorporating several tools in this journey to discover the inner self while also traveling through the grief journey. The main tool is my Rune Stones, which I have not worked with in some 25 plus years. It is a long and audios journey, this traveling from WE to the ME. Painful as it is I know it is one I must undertake to discover the true person who I am meant to be.
I am learning to incorporate and understand the Rune Stones in themselves is difficult to say the least. Learning them and interpreting the true meaning of the stones and what they are saying feels different this time. I am not sure I can explain why but it just is. Maybe it is because I am not the same person I was those 28 years ago but a different person. I’ve grown in some ways and in some I have not. Somewhere along the way I lost who I was as a person but gained knowledge of who I was as part of a couple.
I am also finding a need to reach back to discover what our Native Americans could have taught us. A need to understand how the inner self and the spiritual journey all relate to one another is a bit baffling but for some reason but for some reason I feel that it is necessary. So hopefully with consulting of the Rune Stones on a daily basis with the question always in my mind “What do I need to know in my life now?” and the two books “Rolling Thunder” and “Rainbow Medicine” I can begin to discover the inner self and the spiritual person as a whole and not as separate entities.
So how do I go about this, I have no idea. This is by far a totally different path that I walk than I have ever walked before. What rituals if any do I perform, I haven’t a clue. I am stumbling along on this journey trying to find the way forward. Questions abound in my mind that I have no answers for and not sure where to turn or what to do to find the answers much less understand them. So many questions and no answers.
Where do I go from here? I do not really know but one thing for sure as I move from the WE to ME is that to truly understand the ME, I must delve inside the inner self to discover who I am and to fully understand and be at peace with the inner self on this spiritual journey. Will I be the same, no I won't. Will I be the same me, no I won't. Will I like myself for having made this audios journey, to that I think the answer is yes because it is not just me but a part of him as I incorporate him into the new me, like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon.
Yours in hope.