My Spiritual Journey

by Janet
(Dallas, TX)

Taken on Four Mile Lagoon in Belize, C.A.

Taken on Four Mile Lagoon in Belize, C.A.

I started this journey some 28 years ago and never completed it. Now with the loss of my husband Jim on November 1, 2011 at 1:20 PM in Corozal Town, Corozal, Belize C.A., I am trying to find who I am without him by my side, I am starting it all over again from the very beginning. I am incorporating several tools in this journey to discover the inner self while also traveling through the grief journey. The main tool is my Rune Stones, which I have not worked with in some 25 plus years. It is a long and audios journey, this traveling from WE to the ME. Painful as it is I know it is one I must undertake to discover the true person who I am meant to be.

I am learning to incorporate and understand the Rune Stones in themselves is difficult to say the least. Learning them and interpreting the true meaning of the stones and what they are saying feels different this time. I am not sure I can explain why but it just is. Maybe it is because I am not the same person I was those 28 years ago but a different person. I’ve grown in some ways and in some I have not. Somewhere along the way I lost who I was as a person but gained knowledge of who I was as part of a couple.

I am also finding a need to reach back to discover what our Native Americans could have taught us. A need to understand how the inner self and the spiritual journey all relate to one another is a bit baffling but for some reason but for some reason I feel that it is necessary. So hopefully with consulting of the Rune Stones on a daily basis with the question always in my mind “What do I need to know in my life now?” and the two books “Rolling Thunder” and “Rainbow Medicine” I can begin to discover the inner self and the spiritual person as a whole and not as separate entities.

So how do I go about this, I have no idea. This is by far a totally different path that I walk than I have ever walked before. What rituals if any do I perform, I haven’t a clue. I am stumbling along on this journey trying to find the way forward. Questions abound in my mind that I have no answers for and not sure where to turn or what to do to find the answers much less understand them. So many questions and no answers.

Where do I go from here? I do not really know but one thing for sure as I move from the WE to ME is that to truly understand the ME, I must delve inside the inner self to discover who I am and to fully understand and be at peace with the inner self on this spiritual journey. Will I be the same, no I won't. Will I be the same me, no I won't. Will I like myself for having made this audios journey, to that I think the answer is yes because it is not just me but a part of him as I incorporate him into the new me, like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon.

Yours in hope.

Comments for My Spiritual Journey

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Jul 30, 2012
ME (HE that was part of WE)
by: Barb

I really like your idea of 'incorporating him' into the present ME. I have found that helpful - the thought that what I now become is a part of Bill too and I believe he will help me to do this. I believe strongly that his spirit is around me and will be of assistance in helping me to become the ME that I am meant to be. Thankyou

Jul 18, 2012
The journey within
by: Janet

I am not a Native American. From the time I was a child growing up and through out my life I have always felt there was a kindred spirit with the Indians and a need to understand what they could and can still teach us today. I found my book "Rolling Thunder" yesterday and it was like there was a peacefulness that settled over me when I touched it.

As I was reading it last night the following struck home with me: "We say there is a right time and place for everything, Rolling Thunder went on to say. "It's easy to say, but hard to understand. You have to live it to understand it. We live with that understanding--the fact that there's a right time--and we live in harmony with that." As I re-read those words again and I again, I realized that to understand grief we have to live with it. So now I will start the journey within by learning to live with grief so that I can understand it and live in harmony with it.

Rune Stones are scattered through out the world and they are the Teacher. Mine are the Viking Rune Stones. How I came to have them is simple. There was a card shop where I worked downtown that I would visit once a week. "The Book of Runes" by Ralph Blum and the stones were there. Each time I would go to the card shop looking for something in particular, I was always drawn to them. After the third time, I finally bought them having no idea of what they were or the reason for it. They were my constant companion for over two years as I studied and became familiar with them. They became my teacher in seeking to discover my inner self. Then I put them aside when I met my husband some 25 years ago. So now my course of right action is to discover what I still need to learn today as I travel this journey of grief and incorporate it in my life.

Jul 18, 2012
My Spiritual Journey
by: Dee U.K.

Janet what an interesting perspective. I gather you are native american and this ritual of the rune stones is something that helps you.
Please enlighten me to know how this works for you. I don't know if I can delve into the inner self. I think I would need help from a counsellor with this. I wouldn't know where to begin. Often when people go into counselling the counsellor works at a deep level and this is very painfull but after this for 2 days one feels ill. It is as if a scalpel has been taken to the emotions and they are all open and oozing. But then healing takes place till one goes in for another session. Ongoing I would feel the need for support here so I don't go over the edge with a discovery of emotions from something I discovered along the way. But I will say that a new discovery is made and it is a very cathartic (cleansing experience). We need to discover the ME as you say. Because when it is WE. We get caught up in caring for our husband and lose a part of ourselves and it is this that we have to discover again. It is hard. Good Luck on your journey. Perhaps you can let us know how it all goes.

Jul 18, 2012
coping with grief
by: Anonymous

what a beautiful inspiring e mail you are a very special person with gifts to give to all of us who are grieving god bless you mary

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