My story is not unique
(wash dc, USA)
My wife of 44 years died unexpectedly, 9 months ago. I miss her deeply. I think of her constantly. The only easy moments are when I am with family or with a "Date". How weird is the word "date" after 44 years. But it calms me down. When alone, I cry. How long will this last? I can't seem to be alone without deep sadness. I am trying to embrace "speed grief" by dating and staying active with the things I have always liked to do. It seems to work when I am pre-occupied, but when alone, I feel that the dating and the activities are shelving the pain I should be having and really want to have. Yes, I want to embrace and feel the pain of my loss. I want to cry. I want to hurt. I want to understand why this has happened. And the memories haunt me all the time. Random memories pop into my head all the time whether I am alone or not. 44 years of past memories, some of which I thought I have forgotten. Why....