My Story

by Kiah Lawson
(Penrith, New South Wales, Australia)

It has been almost 4 years since my mother passed of a rare disease, and i still find it hard to cope with the loss of such an important part of my life, I open my feelings to hardly no one which i thought was a good idea at first, though as time went by i realized i had pushed to many of my close family and friend away to ever be able to ask them to come back, i find my self in need of a shoulder, though even then when i think it is possible. I still have the sick feeling no one will completely satisfy me with my high expectations of understanding. I was 10 years old when my mother passed having to wake up to my father and brothers faces drenched in tears, the night before sleeping in my sisters bed for she was frightened of what could happen to our mother, i guess that was the first time i had ever felt like the older sister for i am 2 years younger, after that week my sister took in all the support from my family and her friends while i still grieved i stook to myself thinking without anyone seeing me hurt i would keep them out of worry, though i knew that i would have to sacrifice my happiness for the happiness of my family. Perhaps then i began to grow up trying to replace my mothers role. I love my mother with all my heart, she was and is the greatest part of my life, she raised me to be like her gentle fun loving spirit which i am forever grateful, for thats what she was. Everyday i wish i could see her, every minute i wish i could tell her my crazy ideas, every second i wish i could still do the things i would with her like dancing in the kitchen to David Bowie. I needed this writing least i can be able to let out my story, half of it at least.mother

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Jul 27, 2013
My Story
by: Doreen U.K.

Kiah I am sorry for your loss of your Mum. You were so young and seem to have been left to just get on with your grief which is why you are finding life difficult now. You still needed to be nurtured at that age and it looks as if everyone was trying to cope with their own grief individually trying not to upset the rest of the household. You were all trying to take care of your own feelings and trying to do this with regard for each other. You are now 14yrs. of age and still need nurturing. You are still too young to take on the whole household. This should be a shared responsibility. I took on my family role as mum at 14yrs. and I suffered later on in life emotionally trying to be caretaker to the whole family. Lend a hand within the family but don't take on the whole role. Reach out to others for support. Talk to your father, and your siblings. You all need each other. Let this be a time to reach out to each other and form a bond that can't be broken. Life is tough enough without having to do this alone. My children are all adult but lost their father 14 months ago to cancer and so we are learning to structure a new life for ourselves. It is not easy but because we have got life we have to live it to the best of our ability. Don't try to be too strong. Just be yourself and tell your story how you told it here. I believe in God so I reach out to Him and He helps me get through each day. You can also keep a journal which you can write out all your feelings and even letters to you mum. This is also another way to get your pain and grief out of your system. It will also help you to heal from your loss of your mum.

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