My Superhero

by Maribeth
(Ronkonkoma, NY)

My Daddy passed away on October 18, 2011. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in August 2011 and his battle was short, but he fought extremely hard. Doctors say he would have been a survivor if he didn’t get pneumonia that aggravated his cancer. He was suffering so much but always seemed so calm and peaceful. The last few weeks he was in the hospital he was ALWAYS smiling. He spoke about how he is going to continue to fight until god said it was enough…and he fought every day. The day he passed he was supposed to be moved in to hospice care, but he is a stubborn man and stated he would rather die than be in hospice…so he went to sleep. I hold a lot of anger with him that he didn’t give me that final weekend with him to say what I needed to say. I am angry that the nurse was holding his hand when he passed instead of me. He was my heart, my soul, and the first true love of my life. The past month has been extremely hard for me…especially now that the holidays are coming around. My mother passed away from cancer when I was 3 years old so every holiday it has only been my father and I because my sister always had other plans. This year is going to break my heart. I am 24 years old but I feel like an orphan. I am still confused about why this happened, why god chose my dad, why did he take him now while I still REALLY need him? When I become overwhelmed with grief and anger I try to think about my father, his oddities, his laugh, his smile, his scent. He was a great father and the perfect best friend. Our bond was unbreakable and the love I hold for him within my heart is eternal. I keep hoping that the pain will subside, but it keeps getting worse. I keep searching for him everywhere and I have this longing for him to return. I wear his Vietnam War dog tags close to my heart so I can still feel his love. I would appreciate any motivational thoughts or advice that you would have for me to help me cope better.

All the best,

Comments for My Superhero

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 15, 2012
Thank You
by: Maribeth

Thank you for all of you're kind words. It's nice to know that I am not in this alone and that people out there can understand exactly how I feel. Everyday is a's getting a little easier each day...and I still feel some what lost...but I am doing the best I can.

Jan 18, 2012
i feel for you...
by: Kelly

Hi Marybeth, everything you said - i can feel your pain, i lost my dad on 20th oct 2011 to lung cancer, also aggravated by pneumonia...he went into hospital at the beginning of September '11 after feeling unwell - then finally being unable to breath. He found out it was cancer after a few days of being in hospital, but didnt tell any of the family, until 1 week before he died, he was also so calm and always tried to smile, i am struggling at the moment - especially since christmas is over and there is nothing to focus on. We were all with him and we got to say good bye, he told me he loved me, but my heart is aching and nothing is ever going to be the same again, i am lost, if it wasnt for my little girl i wouldnt get out of bed. Sending you all my love xx

Dec 13, 2011
I feel the same
by: Anonymous

I completely understand what you are going through. I lost my father to lung cancer Oct. 21st 2011. We found out a year ago and he fought it, but almost knew that he wasn't going to beat it. He was my best friend, and I saw him everyday. I myself am only 31 years old and feel completely lost without him. So many questions left to ask, more I love you's to say and hugs. Christmas was his holiday that he made special for all of us and these last few days as we get closer to Christmas are getting harder and harder to deal with. All I can tell you is that he wouldn't want you to be sad, and he would want you to keep pushing ahead and become a very strong woman. Don't celebrate if you don't feel up to it, but try and keep yourself busy and surrounded with friends to keep your mind from going to deep into the pain. Keep your chin up sweetie.

Nov 16, 2011
My brother died of lung cancer aged 48
by: Diana

He was very sad to have to leave behind his 11 year old daughter and a wife who had difficulties in coping with daily issues. Because of the family circumstance there is not much I can do to be of support to my sister in law and my niece - but My sister in law is blessed with a wonderful mother who is doing her best to help my sister in law through this terrible time. My brother died on the 13th of October 2011.

We all know that Christmas time is going to be the hardest time for the family, knowing we wont be seeing our brother/husband/father/uncle/friend at this special time of year.

At Christmas time, I will make a special effort and prayer to be holding your hand in spirit to help you through this day of the celebration of life and the unity of families throughout the world.

I pray too that there are extended family members and good friends of the family that can help you to continue in your life's journey of growth and learning. You are between the ages of my 2 older children - I can well imagine your loss of the 2 people that are meant to make the greatest impact on the lives of a child and young adults (your parents).

In my life, when I needed someone to show me the kinds of things only a parent is normally expected to show, I looked for someone in society, or in my circle of friends, who set a good example for what I needed to be shown. Don't be afraid to ask friends, family and even a stranger or 2 for any help.

Your loss of your dad will leave a big gap in your life, I know, but the feeling of loss will ease as time goes by. Be strong - but also allow yourself to cry. Crying is healthy for you. But if the crying engulfs your life - seek help. Remember your daddy - and smile.
(I mean crying really is healthy for you - I still haven't had my cry after the death of my brother - and I want to, ever so much).


Nov 15, 2011
There is help - Griefshare is a wonderful program to help us cope with the loss of our loved one,
by: Kelly

Dear Meribeth. I feel for you so much. I am sorry you hurt. You are normal, all your feelings. I joined Griefshare after my son, Michael died last December 11, 2010. It is a national-wide program and you can find them on the internet. You can receive daily encouragment messages if you sign up for them. I am heartbroken over losing my son. It's been 11 months but it does get better and that is what you want to know. You will get better, please believe this. I too feel the pain of the holidays being here. I've been told to do things a little different and just do what you can handle. Be nice to yourself. Your emotions are normal and there is nothing wrong with you, you are just hurting. Please look into Griefshare. It in biblical, it addresses being mad at God and others. I'm a Christian and have acted very poorly because of my grief. I know God loves me and wants to heal me. I will pray for you. I promise. You will get better, look for support, hang on. Kelly

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Dads.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!