My sweet baby is gone

by Irene

The last two years of my life have been one loss after another. First my stepmother was gone. Then my sibling and I became estranged. Then my close friends retired and moved away. We keep in touch but it is not the same. As all this went on, I was feeding the most beautiful feral cat, and she was getting tamer. I wanted to take her in if she would let me get closer. Then she brought her kitten by to learn to "hunt" at my food dish.

I caught the kitten, got her cleaned up, and she was mine. She was so beautiful in her tuxedo look, with long fur as soft as silk. Everyone who met her thought she was the sweetest cat. She would crawl into my arms and want to be held like a baby or sleep in my lap every day. Meantime, her mother stopped coming by. I grieved over her for weeks--I did not expect that, but I had my two cats. My older cat got cancer and died after many weeks of caring for her. But still I had my kitten. My workplace decided to have people work from home, so I stopped seeing people every day. My kitten became my daily contact with a living thing. I have groups I go to, but the cat became my daily support. She wasn't right somehow, and I took her to the vet. We couldn't find what was wrong. She was getting worse and I took her back. After a day, he thought I could take her home. I did. She was weak and her beautiful long fur was cut off where she had loose bowels. She was miserable and smelled bad. It was traumatic. I tried to clean her up some. Later she started to cry in pain, was too weak to walk and looked to me for help. I took her to emergency. She just went downhill. There was nothing to be done. She wasn't even a year old. When she died my pain came out in wails. I sounded like an animal wailing from the bottom of my soul. I couldn't stop. I more deeply than when my mother died, and I can’ stop as I write now. My sweet innocent baby didn’t deserve to suffer so, and I can’t help thinking what I might have done better and maybe save her. I tell myself not to think that, though, because I can’t change it. I still expect her to crawl into my arms, and I hug a very soft scarf that feels almost like her when it gets too much. I looked online for friends-only sites today. I know I have to make an effort to round out my life. My sweet kitty can never be replaced. I do miss her so.

Comments for My sweet baby is gone

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Apr 06, 2016
pet loss
by: rosemaire

I feel for you so much! I am exactly the same - it is like losing a person or child whatever anyone says!
We had had several cats and its always wheirst n they die. My husband had to take a week off work when our first precious cat died after a small surgical procedure.
I couldnt move ,just paralyzed
and we had to go away. This was after I brought him over to the the USA from England and he went all over the states with us in motels and then this vet. made a terrible mistake giving him the wrong sedative.
We were trying to sue the vet; he was trying to sue us!
It was a nightmare and I had lost my precious little friend. Now my husband has died and there is no one any more that understands! I am frightened to get another one - just cant stand it if it disappears or dies! Its unfair as so many animals need a home!

Mar 30, 2016
Feeling Sad
by: Sandy

I feel terribly pained at your loss. RIP your little kitty. No one understands our love for our fur babies. Our pets create a void in our lives when they leave for eternity. Now your kitty is at Rainbow Bridge playing with my lost kitties and also free from pain. My prayers are with you and may God give you strength to bear the loss. Meanwhile bring in another kitty after some time and give it shelter.

Mar 16, 2016
Loss of your pet...
by: Debi

So very sorry for your loss. Wishing you comfort and peace.

Mar 14, 2016
So, so sorry
by: Anonymous

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. It is extremely difficult to lose a kitty so soon after you've just lost one (I've been there) especially when you have such a close bond. I believe it is as difficult to lose a beloved animal companion as it is to lose a human child. And there's another whole dimension to that sort of grief. I can honestly say that losing my kitties has been the most difficult thing I have ever gone through in my life and what helped me, besides prayer, was connecting with other people (in my case a group of people that help animals and push for pro-animal legislation here in my state.) Also, even though I'd decided not to have any more cats (because I thought I wasn't a good enough kitty mummy because I blamed myself-another part of grieving) a needy kitten unexpectedly came into my life (he showed up at my door like a gift from God) and his purrs and kitty hugs have helped more than anything else could.

Please don't let anyone diminish your grief. And please reach out to other people who love animals, even if it's just on social media, to help you through this. God bless you.

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