My sweet girl, Maddie.

by Becky
(North Oaks, MN, USA)

Our sweet Maddie, four months ago

Our sweet Maddie, four months ago

Dear Maddie,

I pray that you are at peace, and that your soul is being looked after the way I can no longer look after you in body. I can’t even put into words how much you have meant to me these past 12 years. You have been a loyal, sweet, peaceful companion. I still don’t want to imagine life without you. It hurts to think about you not being there every day when I get home, greeting me with your wagging tail and rushing to the door so you can bask in the sun. I am so happy for you that you got to have a final moment in the sun before you left us, but it also breaks my heart to remember the pain of that moment and the reality setting in for me of what was happening.

In the past 12 years, outside of my family you have been my only true, loyal companion. As I have experienced the heartache of break-ups, rifts between friends, and the ups and downs of school, you have been a constant presence for me. I always felt a sense of peace by just lying on the ground next to you, petting your head and belly, and just enjoying your presence. I know you never understood what was going on in my life, but you were always there for me, excited to see me. You hated it when I cried, and you always found a way to comfort me, just by pressing your face by mine and sniffing my face as the tears came out. You were the one friend who never judged, criticized, or betrayed me in any way. You were loyal the whole way through, and I love you so much for that.

You have always been such a sweet, sweet girl. You deserved so much more than this ending. You deserve to be here still. You were still healthy and vibrant, regardless of your age. You had time left to run, sniff, lay in the sun, and explore outside. You should still be here right now. I have so much anger and sadness inside of me. I am so horribly sorry that we didn’t save you. We should have seen what was happening. The vet should have figured it out earlier and stopped it. The poison that you ate when we weren't looking should have given you symptoms that would have alerted us when we could have still saved you. None of this is fair or right. None of this should have happened to you. I love you so much Maddie. My heart is broken. You are irreplaceable, and I will carry you with me always.

I love you Maddie,
Becky

Comments for My sweet girl, Maddie.

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Oct 04, 2012
Relating with others
by: Jesse, Austin tx

Becky, My deepest condolences for the loss of Maddie. Over the loss of my Baby Mimi I too was in complete shock. Traumatized by all the events that took place just a few days prior to making that inevitable choice. I had her put down here at her home. Traumatized with fear as I waited for the vet to show up. I cried and cried and cried apologizing to my baby girl for what was about to happen. Watching her take her last breath of air, she passed away peacefully and painfree in my arms. Afterwards I too was left feeling so angry, depressed, confused. I wanted to be with her alongside on her journey as she did with me through my rough times. There aren't many people whom can understand the type of love we have for our furry critters. I love her very much, I miss my baby girl. I grieved and cried for over a year. I had a hard time coping. To this day I'm still not ready to adopt another Chihuahua. If I had any words of advice, I will say only in time will we get passed this. Through prayer, meditation and support of pet loss recovery group. We must face and process through our seven stages of grief. We will find ourselves loving another furry critter. You and Maddie will be in my prayers. You are more than welcome to look up "My Baby Mimi" to read her story.

Sep 14, 2012
Maddie
by: Debi M.

Becky -

So sorry for the loss of your adorable Maddie. Losing our babies with fur is one of the hardest things to go through in life. You gave her love and a happy life and she gave you unconditional love. I lost my bulldog Chewy in May. I miss her and think about her every day. Wishing you comfort and peace - God Bless.

From one animal lover to another -
Debi M.

Sep 13, 2012
Thank you!
by: Becky

Thank you both so much for your thoughtful words. It means a lot to hear from people who are supportive and understand what it is like to go through this. I very much appreciate it.

Doreen-I love the idea of a Maddie journal. I think I will start one. I certainly hope that I get to a place of being able to have another dog, but for now I like your idea of holding onto memories of Maddie that way.

And Linn-thank you. She really was a sweet dog, and it sounds like Katie was a sweet girl, too. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of her. I am sure your difficult decision was made purely out of love for her and doing what was best for her, as hard as it was for you to make it.

Thank you both!

Sep 12, 2012
My sweet girk, Maddie.
by: Doreen U.K.

Becky I am sorry for your loss of your sweet Maddie. What a beautiful memorial you wrote here for her. I felt Blessed by reading this. You had such a beautiful dog, and faithfull companion. Your grief and sorrow will be unbearable from such a loss. Keep a Maddie journal and write in this all about your life and relationship with maddie so that you will have this recorded account forever. When you have grieved and moved forward, get yourself another dog and go on to have another relationship to give and receive Love from a pet like maddie. You will never replace Maddie, but you will give another dog LOVE. You will continue to have a rich relationship in life. Life is hard and if we can introduce someone or a pet into our life this is for our benefit and theirs. It will make your journey in life that much easier. I hope that your anger will eventually go and that your Love will flow and Heal you from your Loss.

Sep 12, 2012
Prayers for Becky
by: Linn

I looked at the picture of Maddie a long time Becky. She is such a sweet little dog, and looked much like one that I had years ago named Katie, that had heart disease and I had to have her put to sleep. What a sad day that was and the pain was great for a long time. I will always wonder if I should have waited a while longer, but was told that her quality of life would be very poor. I wrote a poem about her and every once in a while I read it and remember my smiling Little Katie. I do know Becky, that after the pain there are sweet sweet memories and it seems as though with each pet that I have lost that I have become more understanding and more loving through it all. Please remember that there is sunshine after the rain and even though you will be sad for a while, a day will come when the deep pain will be gone and you will be able to love again. May God bless you Becky.

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