my sweet john

The end of march this year, my son wasn't feeling well because he was laid off and had no insurance, he put off going to the doctor. His lungs were full of fluid. On march 27th, they drained his lungs and sent him home.
That Friday they did a ultrasound of his heart, and said he had fluid around his heart. The day they drained it, the doctor came out and told my husband and I they had to close him back, he had a inoperable malignant tumor on his heart.
Turns out if was angiosarcoma, so rarely only 17 cases ever reported in the world. They sent him home to die, he was living with his girlfriend at the time. The next morning my husband texted him and he called us and said he wanted to come home to die. They put a drain in his chest and I drained his lung every day. Hospice was called in. His three brothers came from Afghanistan, Alaska and California
one by one. On Friday the 29th he came and laid in my lap and told me had to go, he was good with god and to call a priest. The next morning at 8:05 he died with all of us by his side.
He had just turned 40 and it has been 32 days, and I think about him nonstop. I went back to work (in fact took an extra job) to pay for the funeral. I didn't know how much sorrow and grief never stop, i wonder if a day will come when I don't think about and miss him