My sweet Kyle

by Melissa

My fiancee passed away on June 19... It's been nearly three weeks and I still can't function. We rarely argued, but on the 18th we did and he left the house to stay at a friends... He passed away in his sleep. He was 31. I still don't have all the answers nor the closure I need. I'm angry, feel guilty and miss him beyond belief. We both had been in previous marriages that made each of us so lonely. It felt amazing to be soon marrying the true love of my life. We did everything together. I've never loved anyone like I love him. I feel so lost and unable to recover.

Comments for My sweet Kyle

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Jul 10, 2014
your Kyle
by: Anonymous--MI

Melissa, I too send my sympathy for the loss of your Kyle. I have lost my husband nearly 20 months ago; we were married 43 years. I do not have an answer for how to feel better. You are in the early stage of this journey of grief and we on this site know how you are feeling. I am so sorry this has happened to you. I lean on God, our heavenly Father for strength to get me through one day at a time. Don't look to far ahead; just one day at a time; one step at a time. The grief will wash over you and take you where it will. Try to turn to God for His love and mercy.

Jul 10, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: Lawrence

Hi Melissa,
fate has been so cruel to you and I don’t wonder you feel so lost and in the depth of despair.
There are no answers, what has happened is called LIFE and there is no reason for you to feel any guilt, we have no control over it.
It just happens.
Everybody on this web site has gone through the same trauma of losing a beloved partner and understands so well your overwhelming sadness.
There are no words of comfort to give you except to cry and cry and let your body and spirit release some of the anguish you are feeling.
Read all our contributions and I hope they help you as they did me.
With deepest sympathy.

Jul 10, 2014
My sweet Kyle
by: Doreen UK

Melissa none of us knows what grief feels like and how unbearable the pain is till we go through it. We don't know what to expect from grief. How long it will last, or how long we will be in this awful pain.
It has only been 3 weeks and much too early to expect anything other than what you feel now. The best way forward is to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Get yourself some support in the way of a grief counsellor, friends, or family. None of us on this site knew what to expect when we lost the one we loved. You are in the stage of RAW GRIEF and you can't even begin to think of closure. It doesn't work like this. Healing from grief is slow. It will take us a long time to recover from grief. But the Hope is that we will RECOVER in time. Anger, and guilt are all aspects of grief and will assault us often, but this soon passes. If it doesn't then go and see a grief counsellor for support. Sometimes we can also become stuck in grief and can't move forward in time. You may feel numb, and in shock. This should pass in time. I lost my husband 2yrs. ago to cancer and I was in Denial for a long time. I couldn't function for 6 months. But in this time I nurtured myself with good things each day which built up my self esteem and strength. I found this a good foundation to healing whilst facing grief. I lost my mother 11yrs. ago and it took me 9yrs. to recover from this grief. Grief is different for all of us, but we do find out our own way forward, but with guidance from other people on this site who have faced what we are going through. We are all on this grief journey together. The way you feel now will feel as if it will last forever. This is how I felt and many of us feel. But taking one day at a time helps us move forward. It does hurt when you can't have the one you loved in your life each day. It also will hurt to see life going on as normal whilst you are hurting so much. This is also an aspect of grief. I am sorry for your loss.

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