My Sweet Lily
by Lori Saunders
(Prince Edward Island, Canada)
My sweet dog of 10 and a half years, Lily. I am devastated at her loss. We had to euthanise her on March 21 2012. She was diagnosed with IMHA. Her immune system was attacking her good red blood cells. We tried the steroid treatment for six days. In the first four; her red cells improved from 20% to 25%.We had a glimmer of hope. Then on the sixth day we were told her good red cell count had dropped to 17%. We were heartbroken to say the least. We knew what we had to do and it just about killed us!It was so costly to proceed with other treatments and the vet told us of side affects and we just did not want her to go through anymore discomfort. She was breathing so heavily from the steroids and had also had come down with vestibular desease where the head tilt s to one side and they go in circles from dizziness and it makes them nausous. Oh this was all so hard to deal with!We did spend a last few hours with her and we were with her when the time came. All that I can't get out of my mind!!
Lily was our friend and companion and filled an emptiness in our heart and home. We are in a different part of the country, away from all our children, grandchildren and family. So, she was a very special part of our lives.I spent more time with her than my husband did. I never went for a walk without her. Most everywhere she could go with us, she went. She loved just being with us!
I am having such a hard time dealing with this. I cry every time I go for a walk, I cry every night and during the day. I try to keep busy but when she comes to mind, my heart sinks and I get so overwhelmed with grief that my chest pains.I just do not know how to deal with it. I feel so sad and empty every day. Mt heart is broken and I miss her so, so much.My husband is devastated too. H I do know he misses her very much as well. I think he tries not to show me all his grief.
What can I do? I cannot explain my sorrow in words,,, it's so great. I never thought I could feel so hurt and feel such sorrow at the loss of a pet!