my sweet mother, my angel, my life
by Maureen A.M
It was on the 24th day of June 2011, when I received the worst news in my entire life, my mum had passed away. I was in college and was left with two exams to complete my law decree. I was so looking forward to seeing her and taking care of her. That was the longest day of my life.
My mum had colorectal cancer but somehow I believe she would be okay. I know cancer is a killer disease but I just had faith mama will be okay. What pains me the most is the fact that I was studying in a different country when my mum was back in Kenya sick. Being the first born that I am, I believe I was to look after her. There were no relatives to support her and mama would have not allowed me to stay at home and not to finish my studies.
She had the wrong medication from the start as doctors were confusing her of the disease being cancer and some suggested otherwise. I am so mad at the doctors and angry at all the people who were capable of helping her but just left her alone. I hate the fact that I never spend the last days with her and all the time that she asked for me, the ones around her lied to her that they have contacted me and I was coming. I would have loved to be there even though I know it would have not made a difference since God had decided.
I miss her terribly and I hate the fact that I could not cry out and let my anger go as that would have made my brothers suffer more. i had to be strong for the both of us. Whenever my small brother would look at me crying, he too started crying, so for him I had to be strong. I wish she was still here, there are times that I pray she just appear in my dreams or just talk to me of anything. I wish I would have an opportunity to tell her that I love her and she is the best mother in the whole world. I am still hopping that she will appear to me someday. I would love to see her smiling at me and just tell me where she is, she is happy and at peace. No matter how brave I think I am, I still miss and want my mum so badly. I terribly miss her