My Sweetheart Angel

by Philip Krzyzaniak
(Lexington, SC)




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My darling, gentle sweetheart Great Dane mix Angel passed away January 10, 2011. All I do is cry and cry and cry every day since then. The pain is unbearable, the reality a living nightmare. We were inseparable. She was my only thing, my everything. She was my world. She was so sweet and her love was unconditional and forgiving. She was 6 ½ years old, 100 pounds of love and sweetness. At two years old she started having seizures. Each year they got more frequent and severe and the meds got increased more and more. In Easter 2010 she had cluster seizures and she would not stop. She almost died and was in a semi-coma for a week. She had brain scar tissue from the seizures and the result was as if she had a stroke. She could hardly walk; she lost her bark, had head tilt and could not even hold a tennis ball in her mouth. Before she had a tennis ball in her mouth practically 24/7. She lost the fire in her eyes. I was determined to stick with her for better or worse and after months of weekly acupuncture she got better and better. She could even sprint in the back yard just like the old Angel and the look in her eyes and her face was pure happiness, "Look Daddy, I'm running!"

A few months ago she started throwing up mucus. It was the first time and I took her to emergency. They checked her for bloat and she was okay and they said give he a Pepcid. It happened again on two more occasions maybe a month apart and we stayed home and I just gave her a Pepcid and she was fine. Sunday night January 9, 2011 she started throwing up and I gave her a Pepcid. She always sleeps in the bed with me. This night she lay down on the rug in the bathroom. I lay down next to her on the floor. In the morning when I woke up she had passed the stomach bloat. It was so traumatic and unexpected and I feel so guilty that I should have taken her to emergency. I can't live with myself and I want to join Angel so bad. She is the sweetest girl in the world. Everyone that met her fell in love with her and they all said I picked the right name because she is an Angel. I have asked her to help me several times and she did! I actually felt her lifting the pain out of my body, that I can't explain. I will have to ask her about that when we see each other again. Good girl. I love you forever sweetheart and cannot wait for us to be together again. Daddy's coming Angel. I love you sweetheart.
Love,
Daddy

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