My Tina has no use for her wheelchair because she is walking in heaven!
by Thomas Carroll
(North Kingstown,Rhode Island)
My Tina and I were "blind dates". We were set up by my college buddy and her friend. I had a feeling that she would be special and that proved to be true. We loved the beach,music(especially the oldies)cruising with our "tunes" and many other things. We were married on Sept.28,1974 and were very happy!! Our son Tom was born in 1975 and the following year I joined the Air Force and was sent to Berlin,Germany. I came back to the U.S.to get her and our son Tom in 1977 when my mother-in-law died. We left Germany in 78' and then traveled across the United States to Mountain Home,Idaho where we live until 80' when I left the AF. We had a good life together until Jan.of 1979 when we lost our infant daughter Tracy due to Myotonic Muscular Dystrophy. She was only 3 weeks old and this caused us so much grief that I thought we would never make it through but we did. Tina started having problems walking in 1988 and had been using a cane for about 3-4 years prior to this. In late 1988 she had to start using the wheelchair and continued to need it until her death in 06'. I had to put her in Slater Hospital as she required a ventilator to breath. I had cared for her from 92'to 01' but could do it no longer. She had diabetes,lost her left eye,a toe on her right foot and had a slight hearing loss. I suffered with her mentally and emotionally and asked God to let me bear her pain. She was on morphine for the entire 4 years that she lived at Eleanor Slater State Hospital and I visited every day for a year until I got another job and had to go back to work. In July of 06' her condition became critical as she was moved to RI Hospital and died there on August 23 which will always be one of the saddest days of my life. I still cry for her and miss her every day. I visit the cemetary and put her favorite "purple flowers" on her grave and say prayers for her. I will always miss her & talk about her and my life will NEVER be same again. We were married for 31 years and had 2 sons and now 5 grandchildren. I love Josh Groban and played a couple of his songs at her funeral. "Remember when it Rained" always makes me cry? It tells of "tears from heaven" and "tears that will never dry". She always said that she would walk again and not need the wheelchair anymore. I said "Why,is there a cure for Muscular Dystrophy" She said "No,but I will walk again in heaven". After her death in 2006,I had a dream in which I was walking down a corridor and at the end of it was a door. The door opened and she was wagging her finger at me(Italians seem to do this)saying "NO,NO,NO it is not your time to join me yet". Behind her was "the face of God" who said "you must go back". I will NEVER be 100% happy again until I join her someday. My heart has been broken and it will never be healed!! My grandchildren are my strength now and I will guide them along on the road of life. Nana would have wanted it that way???