My Trooper

by Niki S
(Las Vegas)

My grandmother passed away yesterday, January 23, 2013. She was first diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer (stage 4) in July of 2011. My grandmother told me that she only chose to do chemotherapy because of me. She went through endless rounds of chemo, a double mastectomy, and radiation. In June of 2012, she had her last radiation treatment. I thought everything was going to be okay. She had a PET scan in August and things didn't look quite right, so she went through a few other tests to confirm our beliefs. Her breast cancer metastasized into three different areas of her abdomen. I found this out on September 20, 2012. The doctors said she had a year. I was optimistic. On October 8, she met with a hospice doctor who told her she had about three months. Her body grew weak very quickly as the cancer attacked every possible cell in her body. My grandmother passed away yesterday, January 23, 2013. Three months. The day before she died, I had my mom put the phone to her ear. I told her I loved her and that it was okay to go. She has been fighting for so long and was suffering. I couldn't take it. She deserved to go to God and be pain free. I am fifteen in my freshman year of high school. She was everything to me. I wish I could pick up the phone and call her to hear her voice. I wish for one last final hug. She lived in Green Valley, Arizona, I in Las Vegas. The past 24 hours has been extremely painful for me. I know it will get better, but right now, I am battling a fight of missing her and knowing I will never again be able to hear her voice or give her a hug.

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Jan 28, 2013
by: D

I am so sorry. My grandpa (Papaw) passed away the 24th. It was very unexpected and I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. Stay strong.

Jan 26, 2013
My Trooper
by: Doreen U.K.

Niki you are in a hard place right now and life will get better in time. It is hard when we lose someone so dear and close to us and we have to go through those very painful initial days of grief like you are facing now. I and everyone on this site have been there. You are not alone. Keep a journal and write out all your feelings to your grandmother. This will help you better as you grieve your loss.

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