My Uncle My second Father

by jen

On the morning of July, 5, 2011 @ 10:15 am I got the worst phone call from my mother telling me I need to get to the hospital my uncle was in a horrible motorcycle accident and no one knows the condition the hospital won't give any information and they said someone needs to be there asap. I got to the hospital to hear my uncle, my second father had passed away. That was the worst news in my entire life The most true person to me, my secret keeper, my best friend, my everything I just lost him, now what am I going to do. He cared for my grandmother for 5 years in her home and I also helped him care for her for the last 5 years. Now I'm her main care giver I took on the responsibility because he would have only wanted that and granny wants only me to take care of her and her bills and everything else, this is the most stressful thing ever I love my granny with all my heart and will do anything so she does not have to go to a nursing home. I can't be my Uncle though and me and granny miss him so much and it almost seems like it is getting worse and it is 3 days from him being gone for 6 months and it just is not an easy process. As my granny is 81 and has Huntingtons disease and was diagnosed 8 years ago and has 5 living children and only one of her 5 living children try to help the rest is left to me and my cousin. My granny is having a really hard time accepting the death of her son it is just getting worse it makes it harder on me im so stressed out I had to go to the Dr. and have a biopsy on my stomach it is full of over 15 ulcers and let me tell you it is horrible not being able to eat, dry heaving for 25 minutes every day just horrible and things keep getting more stressful. I think it may be the time me and my granny start some grief counseling or something I don't know where else to start this stress and losing my uncle is the worst feeling im angry at everyone even my poor little children whose ages are 7 and 5 they suffer from my stress and horrible feelings it has to stop because im their mother and they need me as well as my granny and my husband I feel like I can't get through that easy anymore everyday seems heaver and heaver on my shoulders. I try not to let anything bother me and walk around with a smile and try to be happy but I don't even know if it is going to be possible some days I just try to pretend my uncle went on a long vacation and I have not seen him yet but that just don't work it did at first now it is real I know he is not coming back but Im just hoping me and my granny can get over this loss. Thanks for listening I feel a bit better just slightly the broken heart feeling I don't think will ever leave.

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