My very special Derek.

by Stacie Witt
(Green Bay, WI, USA)

Derek Benton (I love you more!)

Derek Benton (I love you more!)

On January 3rd of this year, I lost my oldest son Derek. He was vacationing with friends in Colorado and died from an accidental fall. He was my oldest child. We had a very unique bond,one that I have never felt with anyone else in my life. He was my biggest supporter and protector. He was in his second year of college and was doing very well. He called me at least 3 times a week to check in and we text-ed daily. He was so caring and loving. I can still feel his hugs. This may not sound normal to most, but I feel him all around me. I find myself running forward trying to find any signs that I will get to be with him again. He did come to me in my dreams not even a week after he passed. He told me he loved me, he was okay and that I'd see him again. I have held on to this with all of my heart. I could not go on if I thought this was the end for us. He had a girlfriend for 5 years and they were so happy. She is like a daughter to me so this is even more difficult because she wants to be around me, which I love, but makes me miss him even more. He has a brother with whom he referred to as his best friend even though they are 3 years apart in age. He has a younger sister who loved him dearly as well, even though he was always offering her advice whether she wanted it or not. I don't know why I chose to type my story. I just really miss him and each day I think I doing so well, the next I could just crumble and go away.

Comments for My very special Derek.

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Feb 21, 2014
Our sons
by: Cindy

I lost my 17 Yr old son Ethan Aug 28, 2013 after a very brief and unexpected illness. He was a wonderful and exceptional person and I miss him more than words can say. Life no longer makes sense and the future is hopeless. I am so sorry for the loss of your son Derek. I know the pain you are feeling. May we both find a way to live our lives without our precious sons.

Feb 21, 2014
by: Michelle

I lost my daughter January 2013. She was just 22. I loved her more than anyone or anything. I still cannot believe she is gone. We were very close and I don't understand why she has not come to me in a dream. I have had dreams of her but not visits. I used to believe and lately I am full of doubt and anger
I'm sorry for the loss of your son and there are just no words. We are like the blind leading the blind. Hugs

Feb 21, 2014
Thank all of you!
by: Stacie Witt

I so appreciate sharing with people that have actually felt my pain. It is so unique and devastating at the same time. I need to comment more to each of you soon, so it's personal, but know you are not alone. They are still with us, and know we can talk too.

Feb 19, 2014
Your son
by: Kate

I too lost my son who was my supporter and protecter, who loved me so much! We had a bond of love so strong and I miss him every moment. I do not know how we go on. We are numb in the beginning and it helps us then grief goes up and down and pain and sorrow move on us,it's very difficult. Don't be surprised at anything you feel! Grief over our children is so
Hard on us. We cope as best we step at a time. My heart feels for you much.

Feb 19, 2014
Your son derek
by: Anonymous

I lost my adult son in 2013. I also felt closer to him than anyone else. Its so hard to accept that they are gone. I didn't have any dreams where he appeared until a couple of weeks ago. He was at my front door, and I wanted him to come in, but he didn't. I hope I have more dreams with him. And I pray we see them again.

Feb 19, 2014
not strange
by: chickadee

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
You are not strange, I also have signs from my lovely father.
He also came to me in a dream walking towards me in the light with his arms open wide, we had our cuddle and I felt so special.
Many signs are there for us just accept them with love from your Derek.
I feel they will always be with us as they are a part of us.
The love does hurt so much though.
Bless you

Feb 19, 2014
My very special Derek
by: Doreen UK

Stacie I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved son Derek. You have lost a child/adult child and this is the worst experience of a mother's life. You will feel up and down for a long time. It could take many years to heal from your loss but you do this ONE DAY AT A TIME. Every time you cry you will be healing. But you can never ever forget your loss. You will remember this FOREVER. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 21 months ago to cancer and I feel as if I will never recover. But hope on this site lets me know I will recover, so I hold on to this hope. I can understand you feeling the presence of your son all around you. I still feel the presence of my husband after 21 months. I also still have dreams of him as does my daughter and other relatives. This is so comforting. Hold on to your Derek's girlfriend and always keep her in your life. My son has an EX and she is still in my life and calls me MUM. This makes me feel good and valued and needed. You will in time both be able to continue to comfort each other when you are having a bad day. Keeping a journal helps me also. In the early days I wrote letter's to him telling him what his loss has done to me and how I feel on a daily basis. This is creative grieving much like on this site and does Heal us in time. There are no easy or quick ways to go through grief, but one day at a time. I wish you Comfort and Peace in your grief, and better days ahead.

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