My wee mummy
I lost my mum who was 56 to cancer in May 2012. We were all present when she passed away and it is something I will never forget seeing . Nothing can prepare you for that experience and it will never leave you. She was afraid up to the end and couldn't talk about dying and that made it worse and I can't get that out of my head.
After nursing her for the last couple of months of her life , I I got much closer to her than I had ever been and i miss her terribly . She was almost like my child in the end as she couldn't walk and was in so much pain that I had to do everything for her. It pains me as she never complained much despite what she was going through. That time was a gift to me and being there for her was the least I could do for the woman who had brought me into the world. I spent night and day with her until the very end and
Almost 4 months on it feels no better. When I visit home I always go to her room and everything is just as it was , but she is not there and it hits me like a ton of bricks all over again. Her books and clothes still there with her scent upon them. Her little house was her treasure in life and everything she bought , yet she is no longer there and is never coming back .It's the silence at night that is piercing. I'd do anything to hear coming on through the door or in the kitchen.
My mother has taught me that life is short and that nothing and no one is worth your tears as you can he here one minute and gone the next. I am trying to live life remembering that .. .. I don't know how I am going to live without her and I am dreading Christmas
It hard for people to understand how I feel and it is a very lonely feeling, but seeing the postings has helped me realise that there many out there going through the same heartache and that helps a little ... Thanks