My wife died 4weeks ago.

by jimmy

My wife Eileen died 4 weeks ago , I cant believe I will never see her again.We were together for 34 years mostly happy ,any disagreements mostly caused by me.Eileen was a great wife ,mother and grandmother,she was also my best friend and a beautiful,sexy woman.People say it will take time to get over Eileens death but at this time i just cant imagine life without her.I know if Eileen could talk to me she would tell me to keep going , to live life as good as i can, i will try my best hope i wont let her down.

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Oct 22, 2014
Same Boat
by: Ron

My wife Bonnie who I would have been married to for 40 years on 11/1/14 passed away 9/23/14. We were always very close and did everything together and our marriage seemed to get better as time went by. I feel the same pain you do and understand exactly what you mean. Good luck with your future and I hope you are able to heal and enjoy life again as I do for myself. It is a pain unlike anything I have ever experienced and I have gone through the deaths of both of my parents, my younger brother, and both of my wifes parents, and cared deeply for all. Everyone tells me that with time it will get better, but I need to accept that it will never be the same. Again I wish you all the luck in the world going forward!!!

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Jun 18, 2014
5 months and still grieving
by: Doreen UK

Jimmy 5 months on is still too early to start to feel the healing you expect from your loss of Eileen. The mere fact you are holding down a job, going to counselling, and engaging in life is a PLUS. Keep your FOCUS. You are grieving. Be kind to yourself whichever way you do this, having a wee dram and a cigarette are some ways men cope. If it is has been your lifestyle, only you can change this if you so wish. Don't be too hard on yourself. Counselling takes time to process and learn coping mechanisms. Taking one day at a time is how you are going to move forward better. You will be able to Embrace Eileen's family in time. Just being open with them and allowing them into your life will help you and them. Nothing wrong with telling them how the loss of Eileen is still affecting you, and will do so for a long time. Let them know that you are still struggling with your grief and for them to be patient with you. Often we have to state our needs and what we need from other's. You will eventually recover from grief, but now it is important to enjoy your journey in life and how this unfolds for you. Best wishes.

Jun 16, 2014
by: Jimmy

Its nearly 5 months since Eileen died sometimes i smile and ask myself is it true or is it a dream.Ive done a lot of things right since, like going for counseling ,going to work,joining the local gym.Ive also done bad stuff ,a lot of drinking,smoking and worst of all not showing a lot of understanding towards Eileens family ,Eileen would be so disappointed with me.I am going to try to have a better relationship with Eileens family ,that's what she would have wanted.I want to wish everyone on this site love and peace.

Mar 05, 2014
by: jimmy

I got the post mortem results today eileen had ovarian cancer its called the silent death.I just want to thank everyone who read my story ,who replied,I just feel so sorry for eileen good night and god bless.

Feb 20, 2014
by: jimmy

Thanks for all for all your thouths you will never how much they mean to me ,Lawerence thanks for what you said about the disagreements myself and eileen had ,she said the the same herself in the hospital good night god bless

Feb 19, 2014
Thanks doreen
by: jimmy

Thanks doreen for your reply I cried when I read it. Im at home now its ten to midnight I keep listening to kris kristofersons loving her was easier than anything i,ll ever do again ,it just seems to sum up how im feeling.Thanks for replying it meant a lot good night

Feb 19, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: Lawrence

What she would have told you is so good, just keep going and try to live with the intense pain you are feeling, and cry and cry. It’s such early days for you and crying is nature’s way to help you get over your overwhelming agony.
It is a very hard road you are on, the grief you have now will ease as the months pass but will never go completely, I know because I have just started my second year after losing a deeply cherished wife and I still find myself crying, I am incredibly lonely .
If I may give you some advice, don’t stay in the house and weep, get out, go anywhere, the local library to read the newspapers, or a shopping mall, join a social club where you will meet people like yourself who have lost a loved one, the house will still be there when you return, empty and full of memories.
Just remember the 34 years you had together and smile at the disagreements you had, every marriage has them so don’t feel guilty.
Cherish your children and grandchildren they are the fruit of your love for each other.
There are no words I can give you to help you overcome the terrible walk up the stairs to an empty bedroom and sleeping alone in the bed you shared for so many years; it’s the price we all have to pay for love, and it hurts so badly, but such is life
With deepest sympathy

Feb 19, 2014

I am so sorry Jimmy for the loss of your wife Eileen. I lost my Husband of 39 yrs. in June of 2013. I understand your pain. You cannot eat, sleep poorly, constantly think of your wife 24/7. I know the pain and grief you feel. But, Jimmy it does get better a little at a time the deep, deep pain eases; but the thinking about your Eileen will always be with you daily. I know, I think of my beloved Husband everyday. Love is beautiful and just think of it this way. God, put Eileen in your Life because you were a special Man that Loved her for many years before he (God) called her home. Be happy (smile) for the Love and Time you had with your wife, many people live long lives searching for love and never find it. We are two lucky people to have found LOVE and know what true love is. May God Bless you and comfort you in the days, months and years to come.

Feb 19, 2014
My Wife Died 4 Weeks Ago
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Jimmy
Losing a spouse; we lose part of ourself. When they die, they take a part of us with them. We never truy get over their death, but we slowly learn how to go on without them.
Four weeks, your grief is overwhelming; thinking about going on without her seems impossible, but we do. It is amazing how we do.
My husband of 46 years died, June 27,2011. Our wedding anniversary is June 26th. I didn't think I could go on without him. I wanted to hide away from the world, but my adult children would not allow me to do that. They checked on me everyday and always invited me to do things with them. It helped, but it did not take away this ache in my heart for my husband. I still came home to an emptiness. I will always have a feeling of emptiness; my husband made me feel complete.
I joined a grief support group through my church. I developed a friendship with other widows. They totally understood what I was experiencing. I have many widow friends; we go to dinner, play cards, go out for breakfast after church on Sunday mornings. Nothing will ever replace my husband; he was the Love of my Life; but I need to keep active. My husband died; but even though I felt like I had died also, in reality, I didn't. I do things I enjoy; being with people I feel comfortable with. I will always have this ache in my heart; our lives are forever changed.
It is very early in grief for you; TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. YOU WILL GO ON. Cherish your memories and be good to yourself. Your wife died, but her spirit is with you always.

Feb 19, 2014
My wife died 4 weeks ago.
by: Doreen UK

Jimmy I am sorry for your loss of your beloved wife Eileen. It is these early days of RAW GRIEF that are the worst and you feel as if you won't recover. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is how we all get through our grief. To lose a spouse is so very painful. give yourself adequate time to grieve your loss and you will in time be able to pick up your life again and have companionship. I am sure you won't let your wife down. The good Lord created woman for man as a life companion and God gave us permission to re-marry when our partner died. This is normal so you shouldn't feel guilty. The very thought of living the rest of one's life on their own is very daunting. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 21 months ago and I don't relish the rest of my life on my own, but by Choice I don't want to re-marry. My husband was my first love and my last. WE all have different lives and histories and no one should judge you if you enter a new relationship. From memory when my mother died 11 yrs. ago my father was living in a building with other pensioners and one lady wanted to marry my father. He didn't but they maintained a good friendship till she died. But I couldn't accept this woman as a mother and she wouldn't have expected this either. I think maintaining mutual respect helps everyone. I know this is a difficult time for you. But keep HOPE in your heart and a spring in your step and be kind to yourself each day and you will eventually get your life back.

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