My wife, my angel, my whole world
by Charles Copeland
My sweet angel
She spent the evening experiencing chest pain and indigestion, but didn't suspect it to be a medical emergency because 6 weeks prior, after an emergency room visit for the same problems, she was told it was not a tumor, it was not a collapsed lung, it was nothing of immediate concern. The doctor even told her that the EKG they’d done simply read as if normal. So they sent her home along with paperwork that openly stated, and I’m quoting directly here: “Fortunately, there is no evidence of a dangerous medical condition.” They claimed it was severe heartburn and indigestion. Plain and simple. Nothing to panic about. Then this past Tuesday night, at 10:30, she decided the pain was too intense and asked me to go to the store for Exlax and Gas-X. We both hoped that would solve the problem, because the hospital told us it wasn’t more than that. So I went. When I came home, she was screaming in pain in the bathroom. I covered the ground between the door and the bathroom in what seemed like a single, mighty leap, and asked if I should call an ambulance. She looked at me, said, “I’m so dizzy,” and fell forward. I dove to block her from hitting her head on the door and was able to deflect her to a somewhat less forceful landing on the floor. She was out cold but breathing heavily. Then she went into convulsions. I was terrified. Somehow I managed to shove my wallet into her mouth so she wouldn’t bite her tongue AND reach FOUR AND A HALF FEET around 2 corners to get the phone (which I've tried to do since and have found to be impossible now). I called 911, screamed that I needed an ambulance, screamed our address, threw the phone on the floor (hoping they got enough of what I’d said to know where to come to), and checked her pulse. I was so scared and I didn’t know what to do. All I knew to do was just to cradle her in my arms and tell her that I loved her and needed her and that help was on the way and that I couldn’t lose her. Right then, the convulsions slowed, she became less tense, eased her head back, opened her eyes wide and fixed her gaze on my own terrified eyes and said “I love you”. I repeated it back over and over again … And then she drifted away in my arms. I had never felt so helpless in all my life. She was everything I lived for and there was nothing I could do to save her. And now she’s gone. She saved my life 15 years ago (when we first met) and I was powerless to do the same for her. The crushing pain is unbearable. I’m so lost without her. I miss my angel.
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