My Wife Raped

by nick
(texas)

This event took place on 12 Jan 2011 I cant even begin to understand her grief now, but I know I need to be there for her. As far as her story goes she was going to the gym with her work out buddy (this is the person that raped her) on the way to the gym he stopped at his apartment said he had to grab something and my wife went in with him. While inside he locked the door and began to rip off her clothes. While he was raping her he began to like it more and more as she fought him off and screamed for me. He was not able to climax I believe. However my wife refuses to fill out any police paper work and will only talk to her councilors. She was already on medication for manic depression and dealing with childhood issues of being raped by her uncle.

Here is where I come in. I am a U.S. soldier deployed to Iraq and I just found out today 03 Feb 2011 this happened. My whole world has been flipped upside down. I turned in all weapons and ammo and haven't slept in two days. I've talked to my chaplains and chain of command.

I feel I have a buddy here to help me but right now I feel ive gotten past most suicidal homicidal thoughts. But one things that is hitting me the hardest is I can't look at my wife. I'm still deployed so we use yahoo or skype and every time she sends an invite im just terrified to accept. what should I do to get myself straight so I can support my wife?

Comments for My Wife Raped

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Nov 15, 2013
rethink
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry but as a female reading this My first instintive thought was this that your wife partook in it and is sorry. She can't let you know what happened as she feels it would destroy you. I would talk to her and ask her if she just made a mistake as this is killing you,be prepared for the fact that it is possible that it wasn't the way she said it.if this is the case and she cares for you she will tell you the truth.

Feb 08, 2012
Make a report
by: Anonymous

I am really concerned that she is refusing to make a report. She doesn't have to press charges if she is to scared but in order to protect other women there needs to be a report of what this guy has done. Period. I am also a survivor of rape and this subject is sensitive to me. It's imperative that women feel safe enough and strong enough to report and press charges. Even more reason for you to find a way to offer her your support and comfort.

Nov 28, 2011
please be there for her
by: Anonymous

You need to be there for your wife. She is going through a extreme loss. I was raped at the age of 6 so i can relate. I know it will be hard to face the fact with what happened but you are her only support and you are her husband. Please be there for her, let her know no matter what happens you are there for her and you love her.

Feb 14, 2011
im sorry
by: Terri

I truly feel for your wife. I too am a survivor. I can see your side also though. Im sure it has been a huge shock, and Im sure you wish you could help her more. The worst part for you must be not that your sure about getting on the video with her, but that your worried she will see your pain and think its her fault. I am positive she needs to see you, see your frustration and know you wish to be able to help her through this more!
Thank you for all you are sacrificing, thank you for all you are strong enough to do for everyone at home right now and please, please remember you are important!

Feb 06, 2011
Rape survivor
by: Anonymous

I am a rape survivor; please do not ignore your wife's calls on skype it will only damage her already fragile state. She needs all the support she can get from you. There will be times that she blames herself for the rape, but NO woman deserves what has happened to your wife. Follow her lead in where she wants to go she will need to work through the rape at her pace and the way she feels will be the best for her. Please do not stop loving her and give her all the support, she is going to need you like never before.

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