My Wife, the Love of My Life Passed Away Much Too Soon

by Mike
(Baytown, Tx)

About a month ago, I returned from a trip when I found my wife age 62 passed suddenly away at home. It appears she passed away in her sleep. Since then the pain is unbearable. I think of her every minute of every day. I miss her terribly and wish we were together. We were making plans for our retirement and in January to celebrate 40 years of marriage. I lost my best friend, confidant, lover, and wonderful Carol. I have a photo on my office desk of us together on a trip we took earlier this year and when I look at it, I think of how that was what we were planning for retirement, to be together and do the many things we had been planning all our lives. Now she is gone, and I look around the home and see her in everything she bought, decorated with, and it breaks my heart that she never new her last days were approaching. I will love you Carol all the days of my life and keep you forever in my heart. Love Mike.

Comments for My Wife, the Love of My Life Passed Away Much Too Soon

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 28, 2014
Hi Mike, I need your help!
by: Jennie

Please click on "The Grief Club" button on the left for access to the new Forum. We want to keep this great online grief resource going and need your help! Please re-post this or put a new submission there. All your friends are waiting...

Hi Pat from Green Bay, and Anonymous MI:

Could you please contact me via "Contact Us" button to the left? I need your help for the transition. Thanks so much!

Sep 21, 2014
The pain of wondering alone
by: BJ

I am so sorry for your loss-
I too lost my- he was the best-
I purely and simply miss him.
The physical pain of a heart breaking is not one we can explain. The sense of being lost, feeling empty and having the unfamiliar is overwhelming.
My heart aches for yours, for all of us on here-

May the four winds heal your broken heart.

Sep 13, 2014
sympathy and hope.
by: Lawrence

HI Mike,
I also look around my home and see everything in it had been chosen and bought with great care by my deeply missed wife and the fun we had buying it, such bitter/ sweet memories.
Mike, your precious Carol has only been gone for just over a month and you must let your body and spirit weep and shout at the world, just as we all did on this “DEATH OF A SPOUSE” web site.
Don’t even start to rationalize anything; you are in the first phase of the mourning process and it does move forward in stages, the one you are in now is one of total disbelief and if you are anything like me, you still think she will suddenly appear in the doorway.
The next phase after a good few months is acceptance that she really has left you, I think that is the hardest, but the worst of it is nearly over and now it’s a matter of filling your days.
May I make a suggestion?
“GET OUT OF THE HOUSE” don’t stay in and mourn your beloved Carol, it’s not what she would have wanted for you.
Get out, do anything, go to the library and read the papers, join a club where you will no doubt meet other widowers, learn to play bridge, if you used to play a musical instrument way back in your life, find a teacher and practice for hours, do ANYTHING but stay in your home and weep, believe me, it will still be there when you return empty, cold and very lonely.
Needless to say I do all the things I have mentioned and many more after losing a precious wife and sweetheart after being together for nearly seventy years
You may ask, does it help?.
Does it Heck, I am still distraught and cry daily but it is getting easier and I smile a little more and can feel the sunshine, so I am well on the road but I know I will never arrive.
I am a song writer and many years ago I wrote a love song and it ended.
So Mike, chose a star and know that’s where your beloved Carol is.
I do it and it helps.
From one grieving widower to you, Mike.
My deepest sympathy

Sep 13, 2014
by: Sue

Hi Two years ago I lost the love of my life( he was 60 and I was 58) after a short illness(six weeks) all of our plans in place for a well deserved retirement,not meant to be he died the week of our retirement date!!!!!! I can relate to your pain yes.... I still think of all the plans we made all the living we had to do, It is no better 2yrs into my journey but it is easier. Please God you will find things easier as time passes."We must let go of the life we planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us" not easy God Bless.

Sep 12, 2014
Your dear sweet Carol
by: Rick

Mike my dear brother, I understand, and I started to cry (again) as I read your post, I think because it hit so close to home for me. I too lost my loving wife, Sandy, of 27 years suddenly and unexpectedly to a heart attack last January. She was only 62 and I'm only 57.
Sandy was alone in the house on that terrible day, and I was way out back in the barn/shop working on my truck. I was away from her for only an hour or so, and came back to the house to check on her when I couldn't reach her on the phone. To my utter horror, I found her on the landing at the top of the stairs. She was gone. Dear God, I had so many more things I wanted to do for her. It was way too it was with Carol.
Mike, I don't have any great words of wisdom for you...I'm not handling my loss all that well, and I'd feel like a hypocrite to suggest that "all will be ok in time". The heavy grief may get less frequent, but I don't think it ever becomes "ok". I just want you to know that you aren't alone in this, my heart goes out to you. I believe as Sandy did...that everything works for the good to those who love God. And that all God's children...including you, me, Sandy and Carol will meet again in heaven. You and I are just gonna have to make the girls wait a while. Another thing. I've gotta say that I've never prayed quite so much as since Sandy died, and there have been a few times during my searing grief when it seemed to me that Sandy was near. I gathered that her main message to me was, "I'm here." So say your prayers every day, and keep the faith that God is there, as is Carol, and that the Good Lord knows what he's doing and has a plan for us. I think the plan is mainly that we continue loving others...the most important reason that we're alive in the first place. As Sandy would say, "God bless you Mike." For that matter, God bless us all. - Rick

Sep 11, 2014
My Wife, the Love of My Life Passed Away Much Too Soon
by: Doreen UK

Mike I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved wife, at a time when you should have been enjoying your retirement.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 2yrs. ago at the age of 65yrs. He worked so hard for 47yrs. and was looking forward to his retirement and died before he could enjoy the time he worked so hard for. I feel so disappointed that so many men/women who work so hard miss out on their retirement due to illness and then dying. I feel that the governments of our country should make the retirement age younger so that people can enjoy their lives and that it would also free up jobs for the younger generations. Something has got to change.
I can understand the pain you are in as we all went through this. In the days and months the pain was so bad we thought we would never recover from our grief. The best way forward I learned on this site is by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. If you find yourself struggling with your grief you could get support from a grief counsellor who do a marvellous job at helping one move forward better where the raw pain for grief becomes less.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!