My Wife was the most beautiful person in the world.

by RICHARD
(NJ)

My beloved wife was only 64 years old when she passed. We were together for 48 years,and married for 39 years. My wife had a double mastectomy with reconstruction and survived. No after care she was fine. About 2 years later she got pancreatic cancer. It took the doctors a year to figure out what she had.she had an operation called the whipple. The surpeon removes part of the pancreas and stomach. She made it thru the 10 hour operation/ They could not get all the cancer out. Another year of chemo and radiation. It took its toll. Roseann passed 05/28/12. one year and 8 months later I go to her grave every day. I really miss her. No one could ever take her place.

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Jan 28, 2014
hello down under
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. It is wonderful that your family dog has comforted you with her precious litter. Our loved ones are still reflected and found in the beauty of nature. I lost my gorgeous husband early this year. We were crazy for each other. Married almost as long as you two were. We lived for each other but never had children. I know they will be a comfort for you but what lies ahead is a difficult road, as it is for all of us here. I often wonder how anyone can do this. I know I don't want to. Life just isn't the same and yet somehow we have to go on. I wish you peace. Please come back and let us know how you are doing.

Jan 28, 2014
Your grief
by: Lawrence

Hi Richard,
I too have been through the nightmare of seeing a wonderful wife go through the fear and pain of a mastectomy and you have my deepest sympathy, the memory of those few weeks will stay with me for life, from diagnosis to her return.
I was traumatized by it all, and horror of thinking I was going to lose my adored wife to cancer was almost too much to bear, I came home from the hospital every night and cried, she told me to be brave, yet it was impossible, I loved her too much, when she was going through such a painful operation, I ached to hold her again..
I guess we were lucky she survived the next twenty five years without it reoccurring, but nothing is forever and I lost her on Christmas Day 2012 from a sudden heart attack, she died in the blink of an eye, with, I pray, no pain, we had a seventy year love affair which ended when I closed her eyes, kissed her goodbye on her deathbed and thanked her for a wonderful life...
So I am still in mourning, like yourself, the overwhelming agony of living without my beloved wife was impossible even to consider and I didn’t want to live, and yet the tears do dry and the ache in the heart does get less and so may I suggest to you to let her rest in peace and try to get on with your life without her as we all have to do, she would not want you to grieve so badly.
I gather you are in your sixties and have many years ahead, so make the most of them even without Roseanne who will be watching over you as I know my wife is with me.
This is my life now and I hope it will give you some ideas to overcome your deep loss.
You are obviously computer literate so sit and write a book of the intense love you had for each other, don’t worry if you can’t put a sentence together, your love will radiate from your words and it will tell the next generation about your wonderful marriage.
I have been a writer for thirty years and have written many books, total rubbish most of them and only read by my family but it is an escape from my misery and also a compulsion.
Get out of the house every day, it will still be there when you return empty and lonely, but you must make the effort, even to go to the local library to read the newspapers.
I am also a musician and I find music a great therapy; it certainly helped me get through my grief, so try to learn to play an instrument, you are never too old, the guitar is so easy to learn and will give pleasure to your family and will certainly amaze them.
Join a social club and join in their programs, you will meet widows and widowers also looking to ease their pain like yourself.
Do anything but stay in your house and grieve, life goes on whether we like it or not, and as you can see by this web site, everybody who writes in is suffering like you and me, so read all their contributions and we can all weep together for our loved ones, it does make it easier to know you are not alone.
I hope I have helped.
Lawrence


Jan 28, 2014
Your Beautiful Wife
by: Judith in California

Dear Rchard, I feel you heartbreak and am sorry for your loss. It's a rough road you are now traveling. The grief journey will take you places you never knew existed. It will toss you around and put you through so many emotions. Please know that anyone on this site who has lost thier mates are sharing in your sadness. With each post we read we relive our loss too.

I pray that you will find comfort in that we are here for you and only hope you fnd the strength to endure this horrible roller coaster ride and come out with peace and acceptance on the other side of it.

Please kow that God is with you to help you along.

Jan 28, 2014
My Wife was the most beautiful person in the world
by: Doreen UK

Richard I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved wife 20 months ago. Cancer is one if not the most devastating disease to have to go through. Cancer affects the whole family, and is a painful journey for everyone. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 20 months ago to a rare terminal cancer caused by working with asbestos. A cancer that takes 40-60yrs. to develop. My husband was spot on for 40yr. diagnosis and suffered greatly for 3yrs. It was a horrendous cancer for us all as a family. My husband was 65yrs. of age when he passed away. the time of life when he would retire and have his special retirement earned from working hard for 47yrs. Life is such a heartache now when we have to rebuild our lives. It is not easy. I haven't started yet. Each day passes and I just get on with it as best as I can as one does. This is such a hard place for us to find ourselves. If we can find friendship this does help us thrive better through this painful grief journey. Taking one day at a time has helped me cope. Somehow doing the normal duties each day is not the same anymore. Grief feels like recovering from being in an explosion. Slow and painful. I hope you have better days ahead and find recovery from grief.

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