My World Ended July 12, 2012

by Beverly

My Loving Caring Husband

My Loving Caring Husband

My husband of 37+ years was diagnosed with lymphoma April 29, 2012. It was discovered when he experienced shortness of breath and fluid around his heart was discovered. The source of that fluid was the infection from the lymphoma. He had never been in a hospital or had any health issues prior to this issue. He had to have the fluid drained from around the heart - had that procedure and another surgery in the week he was in the hospital and had 5 different doctors in different fields treating him. He started his chemotherapy right away and after 4 weeks was tested again - the results were not positive, the chemo was not touching the lymphoma which had attached to his brain. He started having seizures - light ones at first but they increased into long, hard seizures and the greatest of these took his life. It was very hard for me to watch this stinking "disease" take my husband's eye sight, his ability to speak, his left arm/hand and the ability to write his name. It was so hard for me to watch him feel that the life this disease was giving him was one of shame and despair. He said to me 'how can I live like this'. I told him I loved him and I would be his eyes, his hands, his speech and I meant it. I would do everything for him if he were still here with me today. But I knew if something happened he wouldn't want to be brought back to continue his life the way he was. Why would he when he had Heaven to gain?? No more of these issues and for that I am very thankful. But I miss him so much and there are days that I don't think I will ever have that happiness I had when he was in my life. My life now is just 'routine' - I go through the motions. I am attending a support group and it is nice to share with others who have lost someone - you know they feel the same way so you have that in common. It's just almost 3 months. He was only 56 years old - so young. My loss is Heaven's gain.

Comments for My World Ended July 12, 2012

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Dec 17, 2012
My world stopped June 15,2012
by: gena

I do feel your pain, the pain just does not seem to get better and now with the holidays everything hurts more. I lost Todd to cancer, we was at the cancer center in Tulsa for 4 months fighting as hard as we could but nothing helped. He was 55 years old. We were married 25 years.
I will say a prayer for both you and I.

Oct 08, 2012
Please read my story.
by: Kathern C. Infinger

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My husband's story is under James Pinkney Infinger and he too was 56 years old. I just woke up and found him gone on 08/07/2012. We we were together 25 years. He was my world too. I guess my message to you is your not alone. I have learned everyone we come in contact with has a story of their own. Please find a "GRIEF SHARE GROUP", usually based at a church. It helps me tremendously to know that once a week we all get together. It's group we all hate being part of but we hold each other up. We share our bad and good days together and realize there are other people who know how I feel. I will say a prayer for you. I know we both have a long journey ahead of us but knowing your not alone can be very helpful and heart breaking. Everytime I read someone's story I just ache for them and it reminds me I too am aching from losing my love. Please read my story.....I think me and you would have alot in common. God Bless you!!!

Oct 06, 2012
My World Ended July 12, 2012
by: Doreen U.K

Beverley I am sorry for your loss of your husband. You have had such an awful time of caring for your beloved husband from what was a devastating illness. I cried to read the account of each stage of your husband losing his vital motor senses. You are amazing in how dedicated you were to caring for your husband.
I do know what you are going through. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to lung cancer caused by working with asbestos. My husband died slowly over 3yrs.39days. So I do know the level of care and suffering. Having to watch your beloved husband die slowly of a devastating incurable disease. The Chemo, and Radiotherapy left my Steve with a horrendous life. He lost all the quality of life living with cancer. Life is as you say. JUST ROUTINE. Life today has been very painfull. ALL ALONE. WE have a HEAVENLY HOPE that we will see our loved ones again. This is one reason to LIVE.

Oct 06, 2012
Thank You
by: Beverly


Thank you for the words of encouragement. I am sorry for your loss as well. It has been a short time for you also. I will keep you in my prayers that with time we will be able to find some form of happiness until that time we are reunited with our loves. I agree - our memories will help us.

Thanks again. God bless you.

Oct 06, 2012
To Beverly
by: June

So sorry for your loss Beverly. I do know what you are going through. Life doesn't seem worth living. I lost the love of my life, Mike, 7 months ago. I think I am just now realizing he is not coming back. Not sure what to do but life does go on and all I can hope for is we will be Together Again (song by Paul Brandt). Thinking about you and hoping you will come to some peace. We do have the memories.

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