My World is Shattered
(Overland Park , Kansas)
In my heart forever!
I lost my son Steven at 28 years of age. He passed away on May 17 2012, although his actual death is May 20 2012 according to the death certificate.
Steven was found, unconscious in a dark,empty McDonald's parking lot. We're someone dumped him like common trash.
The night of May 16, 2012 I told him goodnight, he was living at home until his apt. Was ready.
I was awoken by the doorbell at 2:30 am by two police officers in forming me.....
No one knew how long he had laid there unconscious before a police officer found him, performed CPR for quite awhile before an ambulance was called and transported him across the street to a major hospital. Yes, there was a hospital directly across the street. He was put on life support, but began having seizures that would not stop. He was disconnected from life support in May 20, 2012 around noon.
He was an organ donor and saved the lives of five different people. Which one day I know I will be thankful for......but not right now.
We to this day, and it has Been 10 months now, do not know what happened. We have absolutely no idea who picked him up that night, we did not even know he had left. It was totally out if character for him, as he had a great job and had to get up early. He never left the house!
He was not with friends or co workers.....
He had to go to a special coroner because he had to have an invasive autopsy done. He was cremated, and I have not had a Memorial Service for him yet. I cannot face it......
I can hardly get out of bed in the mornings. I have two other children who are having a very hard time, I am struggling myself, so I am not much help for them.
They hurt so bad, they threaten to go join their brother. This makes me crazy, and scares me to death.
My entire world has been shattered, my family is devastated and broken.
I rarely leave my house, and don't want to be around people. Only the Compassionate Friends at my meetings, which is only once a month.
I am angry at God, I am basically angry at everyone and everything. I feel my life is over, I miss him more each day, and remain in disbelief that something this horrific could actually happen to my son, to me and to my family!!
There is absolutely nothing in this world that could be worse!
People say that there is hope one day, that things will get better, I don't have enough faith left to even believe that this is capable of happening.