nana and me 3
OK i am trying to get over this grief . its hard to do i just wont to be done with it i just wont to to live my teenage life and be happy .sometimes i thank that will never happen and that scares me i thank will this sadness go away and me be happy . everyone says i am trying to hard .maybe i am i feel like i am loosing my mind when my Nana died i fill like i died to just my body got left behind i have i broken heart i am tired of all this .right now i am in the 2nd stage of grief angry it aunt fun its been this way for 2 or 3 months i don't like to be mad but it keeps coming back to me i try to be happy maybe i am not trying as much as i could its been all most teen months wow cant believe that it feels like i keep on livening the same day over and over i don't know how to move on with out her here i am lost very lost we did everything together she got me and i got her she was a cool Nana when your a teenager your mom and dad do not understand u but she all was did and i seen her everyday i never went a day with out seeing her or talking to her i cant let her go i didn't even see her died ever my mom didn't wont me to. sometimes i am mad that i didn't get to see her like that because sometimes i thank she is gonna come back that gets my hopes up. i try to say she will never come back and stuff it doesn't help . then when she did die we didn't even know it just happen one day i didn't see it coming she was there one day next day not the we just had her cremated so i never got to she her like that so that's hard then sometimes i get made at her that she left i know it aunt her felt sometimes i am mad at my self i thank i could of saved her i know i could not . then that day she die i was suppose to hang out with her we planed it and everything but when i got home bum thats what happen world up side down people tell me just get over it i try i wont to but i cant i am not that strong they say we wont the old you back that hurts i do to but i cant find her its like i have lock all my feelings up i am not good with my feeling never have been i am not good with goodbyes to i feel like i didn't get closer from my Nana dieing not saying goodbye and all and i burn my self sometimes i stopped but then i did it again i don't wont to do it any more at all who does stuff like that . me i broken heated girl i try to pick up the pieces but i cant . i feel like i am reedy to get off this ride . and friends there not a big help u see who is your real friends family they try. i try to tell my self OK today will be different i will be over this but it never happens and then i try to tell my self she is in a better place but it doesn't help nothing helps i feel. this sucks i wish nobody had to die because it hurts how will i live with out her i don't know . will this get better they say it will but i don't feel so there not god how do they know. i just wont it to all stop and then i black everything out i don't renumber anthang since this happened even at school it happens its like i cant stop it i cant help myself with any of this. i need answers.