need to keep going for myself and my 9 year old

My wife made me leave after almost 22 years together. She said she just wanted me to leave. we got married when we were 18. We have a 21 year old son living separately and an 9 year old daughter.
It all happened after I lost my high paying job last year. I really did not see her forcing me to leave. I had hard time recuperating and looking for a new job. I tried to stay, asked to go to therapy. She made up her mind. I was hesitant to move out for 5 months. I moved out and rented an apartment. It is all very sad. The 9-year old lives with me and with my wife part of the week. We try to alternate. After moving out I lost another job. I found a new one quickly. I developed lots of anxiety and sadness over this and I also became very unfocussed and simply sloppy. I had to go see a counselor. Sometimes I think the sadness and pain are always going to be there.
I have many fears since I am not in control of finances.

I need to stay in shape but i do not always have energy to do it.

My wife has stayed in the house. The paperwork is slow to start since I am in a poor shape to start it and she does not even care because she controls the family finances(still joint account) and she lives in the family home. My self confidence has taken a deep dive is recovering quite slowly. The longer it takes to file for divorce the more frustration it brings by day

My daughter finds her dad tired and not as energetic as he used to be.

i am even hesitant to hire a has been 5months after separation. I still miss my ex and my house..

Comments for need to keep going for myself and my 9 year old

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Feb 10, 2013
Need to take control for yourself & Daughter
by: Ady

You need to control your own finances - period.
open a new bank A/c & have your wage put into there weekly, from that you should learn to manage your own financial responsibilities on your own, sooner or later its coming anyway.

If you're certain that your marriage is over & have tried to make amends &/or changes, & still rejected then although you are still liable for 50% of the mortgage, you can also charge your Ex for 50% of rental value on house.
Alternatively, sell the house & split the equity 50/50 Now. Check with your lawyer for details to suit your country/area.

Try your best to settle divorce arrangements without a lawyer, in other words make it a amicable split, this will make it easier on miss 9yr old also.
If things go sour & lawyers are needed for everything then theres only 1 winner & 1 Loser & they are.....
winner = Lawyer (charges heaps)
Loser = Family (pays for it all & suffers mentally)

The person thats hardest done by in divorces is the kids, they're the innocent ones yet they have no choice but to wear the separation from both sides.
Keep miss 9 happy with activities & entertainment, even have her join you in a exercise program, start slowly & work your way up increasing exercise weekly, the funny secret about energy & exercise is... the more exercise you do, the more energy you get.
sounds ludicrous I know but its true, its hard to start off with but as you progress its gets better & better.

You have a lot more healing to do yet, a lot more to go through, you're not alone, many others are thinking & feeling just like you are now & your Ex will be hurting just as much as you are.

If your marriage is over then you need to take control of your own life again, you hold the reins, you steer the vehicle, its Your responsibility, you owe that much to yourself & your daughter, lead by example.
Good luck

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