Need to vent....

by Just a Guest

I need to vent, I think I'm going crazy or at least have some sort of dissociative disorder.
I'm in my forty's. In a two year (starting four years ago) time frame I had a son in combat in the middle east, got divorced (my choice), moved three times, changed jobs twice, had both parents die three days apart, and quit smoking.
I have a really good job, a beautiful, caring, supportive fiance, and live in a nice house. I went through a depressive episode right after I quit smoking. Now there is no more sadness, it's been replaced by anger, but I think of death often...Not going to off myself but I find that I constantly think about death.
For the last few months it seems like I'm living someone else's life. It's like watching a movie. I'm wondering how I got here....it seems like a dream. It's as if I'm at the movies waiting for the next scene but it hasn't been written yet and I'm just waiting around to see what happens. I feel like I've leaped from another universe and have memories from a previous life but everything is fuzzy.
This sound familiar to anyone and if so, how did you overcome it?

Comments for Need to vent....

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Jul 30, 2011
give your mind a rest...
by:

I can relate to what you are saying. You did everything you were supposed to do keep your life going. All the fears that you had brushed away as you tried to keep going keep strong. That feeling of being in a dream like existence is your minds way of protecting it self. I cannot tell you to face you fears to allow yourself to admit that loosing your parents within 3 days of each other was catastrophic.

Your trying to do do do, keep it going I can do this type of thing whats next? Yet it feels so surreal because your mind has not had a rest. I know the feeling of worry for your children imagining the worst and trying not to let it command your day or your life. Your running and I do not blame you. Let you mind rest. Whittle a stick, do something that allows you mind to run down to a slow easy hum.

Camping in August would be brutal but staring at a fire is what I am talking about. Men do, they fix things I get it but slow down and allow yourself some inner peace anyway that you know how...
HH

Jul 28, 2011
Venting is good for the soul
by: M Mack

It sounds to me that you need to love yourself. Be proud of your accomplishments, take some real you time and allow yourself to grieve your parents. You've been so overwhelmed
with the thought of jobs, your son, missing your family, quitting smoking and everything you need to do that you forgot yourself! We all feel out of sorts at times and if you have underlying sadness, you look differently at yourself. You act as though you don't deserve all the good fortune. Please look at the glass half full instead of half empty....and know you have accomplished alot in the last few years. So take it one day at a time and you will get yourself back. Take care and keep writing - it helps to vent and we hear you!

Jul 27, 2011
Veny if you want
by: judith in California

Dear just, it is no wonder you feel the way you do. With so much loss it appears you really haven't taken or were allowed to grieve as you should and to sort your feelings out. This takes time and you've had so much going on. you need to take some time for yourself and grieve properly. Talk to a friend about what you're feeling honestly . Please take all the time you need to sort through it all. You'll find it will help.

come here often and read the posts from others . You may find some peace here.

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