Nephew died unexpectedly in December and brother, also unexpectedly in January.

by Celeste

To say I was shocked to learn of the death of my 40 year old nephew during minor surgery is a total understatement. Nobody in the family even knew he was having the procedure done. Apparently his heart just stopped. It was a very difficult time as I had just moved from Vancouver to Toronto two weeks earlier. My nephew was in U.K where I come from. The grief for his parents and the whole family was pretty unbearable.
On top of this just a month later I got the news that my brother had had a stroke and died.
Hard to know what I was feeling anymore by that point. It still all seems so very unreal. It seems to have brought death so close to me, particularly as now my older brother seems on the verge of dying. This will be the last of my natal family.
I have a husband here with me in Toronto but other than that i know nobody. I am depressed so much of the time and life has lost all it's joy.

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Aug 01, 2014
Nephew died unexpectedly in December and brother, also unexpectedly in January
by: Doreen UK

Celeste I am sorry for all your family losses. Death visits us more often than we can cope with. Just when you find your way through this fog you are then knocked down with more losses.
You may benefit from seeing a grief counsellor in cases of multiple losses. Sometimes it is all too much to bear.
Having lost my mother some years ago and now my husband 2yrs. ago to cancer I didn't think the grief struggle would be so difficult. WE can only do so much to help ourselves. Grief has its process and the healing is so slow it can cause us a lot of fatigue and we can be in depression for some time. Knowing this won't last forever gives us the hope to go on each day. I feel so vulnerable to death now and fearful of losing any one of my adult children. Every time someone gets ill I think I am going to lose them. This is such a horrible way to live. Having 5 siblings also leaves me hoping I won't lose them. It is so unbearable to know that your family is decreasing until you feel you will have no one left. The world of our loneliness then becomes bigger and all consuming. All we have is TIME. I lost my motivation and it took 6 months to get it back. Meantime I did nothing. I am able to function, but some days I find it hard to motivate myself. I daren't talk to anyone because they offer suggestions I can't meet. You may bump against problems like this. The only way forward is ONE DAY AT A TIME, and honouring how you feel and not suffering in silence. It is worse also living in another country. I live in the U.K. but lived in Toronto over 32yrs ago. This is the time one feels more isolated and ALONE when family is living in another country and you have to deal with DEATH.

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