NEVER ENDING GRIEF & DEPRESSION.

by IRWIN
(LONG ISLAND, N Y USA)

MY WIFE DIED OCTOBER 9, 2009. SINCE THAT DAY MY GRIEF HAS BEEN MY ONLY COMPANION IN MY LIFE. I AM LIVING ALONE AND TRY TO KEEP BUSY BEING CREATIVE BUT MY GRIEF AND DEPRESSION SEEMS TO BE BURNED INTO ME. RIGHT NOW I CAME DOWN FROM NEW YORK TO VISIT MY CHILDREN WHO LIVE IN FLORIDA. I WENT TO DISNEY WORLD WITH THEM BUT MY GRIEF AND DEPRESSION CAME ALONG WITH ME AND IS VERY STRONG AND NOTHING SEEMS TO HELP. I AM AN EX KOREA WAR VETERAN AND I CAN SAY THAT COMBAT WAS EASIER. I HAVE NOT HAD A DAY OF FEELING GOOD SINCE MY WIFE PASSED AWAY. I HAD FIGURED THAT BEING WITH MY CHILDREN WOULD HAVE HELPED BUT I WAS WRONG. I TRULY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. IRWIN

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Sep 02, 2012
never ending
by: MALGOSIA

I just wrote comment to your blog, and I went on different side"hearts of healing " and I came across your letter written on Dec 10 2010. It was 1 year after your wife departure. It is two years later, and you still hurting so much, I wish I can take the pain away from you ,me and everyone who lost loved one. I am going to therapy group, talk to other people who are walking in my shoes, it is only hour, but that hour is one when I breath. Maybe,you would be open to trying something like that. Writing about your wife and the way you feel is easing pain for a moment. If you want to I offer my ear to listen . You can write on this page and I will write to you or you can write on my E-mail buchelt@hotmail.com

Sep 02, 2012
loneliness
by: malgosia

Dear Ervin, i am so sorry for your loss and your grate sadness. I don't know what to say, maybe only that I understand and I feel your pain. I lost my adult single son june 30 2012. , I did not know pain like that existed , he was my only child and was single - no grandchildren. My mom is in stage 4 breast cancer, and my husband has stage 4 lung cancer. I do not have any other family. I am in such a pain after loosing my son, and i am so scared to loos my mom and husband. I don't even have friends, because my life was evolving around my son mom and husband.
I don't even want to get up from the bed. Some people grief and they can go on, ad there is people like us, we never get over grief and depression, but we have to get up in the morning, put one foot in front of the other, and pick up the glass of water and try to swallow.... And we know that nothing will make us happy again, we want to have our loved one back, and we are not scared of dead anymore, we are scared of living with out the people we love so much. So dear Ervin, you, I, and many others, we will hurt, our hearts will be braking in little pieces , we will cry when we see couple walking, holding hands , young man with his wife, kids, we will talk to pictures, we will go on the computer, cry and write our stories . But we will get up in the morning, and maybe, just maybe we will see hummingbird by our windows - and we take it as a sign from our loved ones, and maybe we send them smile. Take care my friend.

Sep 02, 2012
NEVER ENDING GRIEF & DEPRESSION
by: Doreen U.K.

Irwin I am sorry for your loss of your wife in 2009. I lost my husband of 44yrs. marriage 4 months ago to cancer. I don't think we will ever get over the loss of our loved ones. We just have to live with this each day in the hope that as life goes on that healing will take place in us and allow us to live with some peace from our loss. Even if you are with your children the sadness and depression is in us and will follow us around. What you can do is to try and enjoy those moments with your children and shut out everything else even grief. Do this for a while. Saying to yourself. My wife was important to me. I miss her. But today is the day I spend with my dear children my wife and I had together. Today is OUR DAY. I will shut off everything in my mind that intrudes. Get wrapped up in your childrens world and this will let them know that you are making time for them. Build on this. You will have private grief moments which you can honour your wife. You can build on this and start slowly to build other things in your life that will help you each day to build this new life that even I have to learn to build. Because what else do we have. Let grief do its work. don't shut it out. But introduce good things into your life making every day count as if it was our last day to live and how we want to live it. Not in misery but with joy. I hope this helps YOU! ME! and everyone else in our journey to move forward in our time.

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