new hair, new beginning??
I used to have really long hair, Bryan loved my hair long. He said that I was the most beautiful thing that he has ever seen with my hair long. I ask him one time, so what am I with short hair? He said that I was the cutest thing that he has ever seen. Well, in Aug 2010 I got my hair cut off to right above my shoulders so I could get a portrait of Bryan tattooed on my right shoulder and because I don't want to be beautiful for anyone else. Bryan and I never cared for tattoos. But after he passed away in July, I had to have him with me always. I know that his spirit is with me always but I needed something more tangible. He was always on my right side, he was my right hand man. His job had taken up donations at work and got us 3 tickets to a rock concert in the handicapped area, so my youngest daughter could go with me and Bryan. I was only going to be with Bryan, most of the bands I didn't care for. Since he passed away before the concert I had to have him with me and the girls. After all the tickets were for mainly for him. Yesterday I decided to finally get my hair cut as it was to long to see my angel on my shoulder. I used to ask Bryan about me dyeing my hair. He said that I look good with the silver in my hair, and that we earned everyone of those hairs. Besides that, we were growing old and gray (silver for both of us) together, right?? So, I never dyed my hair. Well yesterday I decided to go ahead and dye my hair. I wanted it the way it used to be, medium brown with red highlights. OMG what I got was dark brown with purple, not red, purple highlights. My girls are still arguing with me about it not being purple. Maybe I'm color blind but it looks purple to me. Everyone who has seen it has said that it looks really good, not to change it, that it makes me look alot younger. I am not one of those women who don't want to look my age, I am very comfortable and proud of being 48. Well it looks like I will have to live with it for awhile, maybe it will grow on me. Could this be the beginning of an unwanted new life?? I guess we'll see. All I can think about is what Bryan would think. But I guess that doesn't matter anymore. Bryan, I love you always. Here I go without you. As always one step one day one breath at a time