New Job ~ New Life
So I been at my new job for just about a week and I've noticed the difference in the way I feel, its like night and day, sad because I don't have Billy to come home to and say "Guess What" but all in all I feel my emotions are not pulling me apart in every direction. It's amazing how having contact with people, talking to people and just have other people walking, talking around you and saying "Hi" to you. I've got better pay (always good) 3 minutes from my home and I get home a little of 4:00. An industry that I'm familiar with, who wouldn't love that?
So ~ I went to my first support group meeting and it was so, so depressing. I mean I felt much better before I walked in and I know it's a part of a process that some people need and that's OK. But me? All I did was cry and think about the hurt these people are suffering and it took me back to everything and anything I could and did remember doing with Billy and missing it again so much. What I went through, loss and confused. It really pulled at my heart so much I couldn't speak.
So my big question is should I go back? I know I miss Billy and I always will. There will be days of longing, pain of missing and tears. Nights are and will be always be hard not having him next to me and wishing so much in my heart. I just feel that at this point, with the new job, new people and my brain finally getting to work I'm not as consumed and in despair that my last job seem put me in and surround me.
So what do I do????
I'm still working on that. Maybe I'll just coast and see where my mind and emotions take me... the option is always available if I want.
So right now ~ I'M OK, and that's where I'll leave it...
1 step, 1 breath at a time ~ 1 year :)