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New Year

by Lyn Ann
(Kingston, Ontario, Canada)

It is now 6 weeks ago since Jim passed away. Somehow I thought that New Year’s eve wouldn’t be as painful as Christmas – since we usually celebrated at home and seldom were awake at midnight. I was wrong. On every TV and radio station, and everywhere you look they are recapping the year – what has been the most painful year of my life.

Jim, I miss you so much. Love you forever and always, my love, Lyn Ann

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New Year

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new year
by: Mari

My heart goes out to all who posted. I truly understand. I felt terrible when I posted this morning but then I got to thinking. I need to ask God to get me through and be with me. So I did. I was alone and have not received even one phone call. So I said,''It's you and me Lord and you have never let me down yet.'' So I got busy cleaning and going through things. I accomplished so much and listened to Spanish music on the internet all day while I worked. I chatted with my mother and dad.

It did me good to be by myself because not only did I accomplish alot but I needed the time and it was for sure I needed God.

My husband always wondered how I was going to rearrange things or what I would paint next.
I miss his hugs and his saying,'' I do love you you know.'' I have read the posts where it says we have to take baby steps and I am doing that. All of you are wonderful people who have been a great source of encouragement. I thank God for the love my husband and I shared. I know it won't be easy but today I feel I made progress. God bless all.

Sad but hopeful
by: Marlaine

It is hard to fathom that my best friend and husband of 31 years will not share 2011 with me. That realization bowled me over this morning when I had a few minutes to reflect and could not distract myself. We had a great marriage, not perfect but I always knew the best was yet to come. I want to be hopeful about the new year but I can't help regret that Jim won't be here.

I regret that we didn't have more time to say goodbye and yet I am happy that his suffering lasted a brief 11 weeks. I grieve that my children and grandchildren have to live their lives without his wisdom and guidance.

Ultimately, my faith in a loving Father in Heaven sustains me and reassures that I will get through this. Thank you to everyone for sharing honestly the rawness of your pain and emotions. I pray that we each will find joy, comfort and peace in the new year.

Marlaine

Please keep 2011
by: Colleen

I do not care to join 2011, Bruce will not be in 2011 at least I had him in 2010. I sit here on new years day all alone praying for God to take me. When will this nightmare end?

I hope everyone on this site has some form of comfort in 2011.

New Year
by: Mari

This is the second New Years without my husband. I was at my daughter's last year. This time at church. The food and fellowship were wonderful but I looked around and saw couples, so many couples. I started feeling alone. So I left at 10:00. Others left early too. But for me it was a lonely feeling I had. At least I can see my husband's picture here.

I held a 3 month old baby boy for a while at church and that brought me joy. But the fact is I still miss my husband and holidays are difficult.
I wonder if it will be like this the rest of my life.

I don't feel very well either. My husband and I never stayed up til midnight but we were cuddled up watching tv. Now I still sleep on my own side of the bed out of habit and when I reach my arm there it is empty. It is much lonelier at night. All we can do is stay close to the Lord.

6 weeks, 6 months
by: Patricia

Time has no bounds, a minute, an hour, it will always feel like a lifetime. Billy and I always celebrated New Years on New York time if we were lucky and managed to stay awake. Now I'm in Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps, watching New York on TV missing him like day one. These days sneak up on you. I hope and pray the new year brings comfort to us all.

This was taken from this site and I feel it bears repeating.

With each of us looking for a better New Year ~ This is my resolution
?Be kind and merciful. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier for the experience. Be the living expression of God?s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting. To children, to the poor, to all who suffer and are lonely, give always a happy smile.? Mother Teresa.

Something to carry with you ~
always, 1 step, 1 breath at a time ~

Unhappy New Year
by: Pat J

The thought of facing 2011 without my husband with me is something I don't want to deal with. It was 4 weeks today that he passed away while waiting for a heart transplant. At Christmas I posed for pictures with my children and little grandsons. No husband, no dad, no grandpa in the pictures.

Yes......2010 will be remembered as the unhappiest year of my life. Christmas eve was no happy time but this evening is really tough.
I hope we can all find some peace and ease to the pain in the new year.

Also feeling the same
by: Maureen

It has been 10 weeks since I lost my son unexpectedly. He was only 27. I am so sad watching all of the young people celebrate and you can't be here. I hope this terrible pain gets a little more bearable in 2011. I love you Alan and miss you more each day!

new years no problem,WRONG AGAIN
by: buzz

It`s new year`s eve, driving home from a day with my kids bowling, started to think of the new year, i thought oh no a year that Val won`t be here to share, eyes teared up and started crying, you know hard it is to drive when crying like a baby.

Only time in my life i felt like this is when my dad got killed in a car-semi accident, i was 14, back then as teenager you could rebel, drink, do whatever helped the pain. I know that now it doesn`t help, it makes it worse. This a crappy feeling and i don't if i can deal with this.

In 2010 had memories, bad ones, but she was here and we made the best of our time together, now the future looks like a black hole in 2011.

feeling the same
by: Shirley

I am feeling the same about New Years. I don't know why. My son would mostly hang out with his friends and I would usually be sleeping by midnight. I guess, as you say, the "recap" of the most painful year of my life is breaking my heart. There will never be a happy new year for me again...
Shirley

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