Nigel A Kirkwood 1973-2012

by Frances Kirkwood
(Dublin, Ireland)

I lost my son, Nigel Kirkwood, on April 6, 2012. Nigel was my only child and he was also my best friend. My son was outgoing and a lover of life. He was never into material things. His legacy was the friendship and love that he left behind.
At Nigel's memorial, so many of his friends started out by saying, "When I first met Nigel, I was in such a dark place in my life". They would then go on to tell of how he reached out to these strangers and turned them into lifelong friends.
I have quit asking why, because the no answer to that question would be sufficient to explain or justify my loss. I was there when he came into the world. I held his hand as he left this world. Every moment in between was a gift from God.

Comments for Nigel A Kirkwood 1973-2012

Click here to add your own comments

Jun 13, 2016
4 years on.
by: Mom

It is four years on, and the healing has begun. You are gone, and I am a different person for having loved you and lost you. I often wonder if you realized how much you meant to all of us.

Sep 10, 2012
Dear Nigel
by: Katy

Dear Nigel:
It's been a few months since you died, but I don't think there's been a day that I haven't thought about you or grieved your loss.

You and I were different in many ways. Sometimes we couldn't always relate to each other - but I know that we loved and enjoyed each other anyway. We were cousins and spent many good times together. We shared a love for animals and nature.

You were truly a gift from God to our family, a ray of sunshine in an environment that could be quite contentious at times. You brought joy, laughter, and in many ways, reconciliation to many who knew you. Relationships mattered to you, much more than the petty sort of junk family and friends were prone to get caught up in. Life is short, way to short, for all the rot that unforgivenness brings. Your life and death have brought that truth home in a palpable way for those of us who love you.

As I remember you, I thank God for your life. I thank Him for what He has given us by allowing us to know you. He is so merciful to us in so many ways, always desiring to reach those who can't see His gifts that way. I'm certain you understand this now.

As human beings, we want to be in control of our lives. But we aren't. If I could control things, I'd bring you back - but I can't.

And so, I'll miss you always. I'll thank God for what He allowed you to teach us about caring for others, to reach out to others. And when I think of you I'll remember this Scripture verse: "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

I will miss your joyful heart and, by God's grace and mercy, I will allow the memory of it to make my own heart joyful, even in grief.

Love always,
Your cousin Katy.

Jun 13, 2012
lost son Nigel 39yrs.
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Frances
I am sorry for the loss of your son Nigel 39yrs.
What a lovely legacy your son left. His footprint will be remembered on this earth as being someone who was a mentor and befriended those people that he felt he could make a difference in their life and he did this in a memorable way.
He sounded like he was God's gift to the world to make a difference to people by touching their lives in a special way that made a difference to the world. What a sad loss.
R.I.P. Nigel You will be remembered lovingly by all those who knew you and whose lives you touched in a special way.

Jun 13, 2012
Nigel, you are missed.
by: Delores Kirkwood

Nigel was loved by all who knew him. As a young adult raising my own kids my memories are filled with Nigel playing my kids at his Grandma and Grandpa's house, who helped us out while we worked.

My parents loved Nigel unconditionally and he was surrounded by family members who knew how special he was and loved him. I can still see the innocent brown eyes of the 5 year boy, that became the eyes of wise young man as he grew.

Of all the deaths I have encountered, friends, my parents, uncles and aunts - it is Nigel's that was the most difficult. Only 38 years old, a new father, who seemed healthy in today's standards - to suddenly experience pain, enter a hospital and be told you have two separate critical conditions, then die less than two weeks later was devastating to all who knew him. Not only because Nigel was young, or that he was a new father, but also because he was such a good young man.

I know so many will miss Nigel, and he will not be forgotten by those who knew him.

Jun 13, 2012
Thanks for sharing.
by: Carrie Ann

That was beautiful Mom!

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Theirspace.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!