Nightmare at the nursing home

by Mae
(Sparta wis)

My mom has been gone now for five years this month Nov. 20 TH her birthday was on Nov. 21, she was in a nursing home that I worked at.Not a very good idea to have a family member in.Many bad things happened there, when I was questioning things they got very guarded, and it put my job at risk, I had been an employee for 20 years. My mom suffered a terrible burn from a coffee spill, which they denied,abuse from letting her go to activities bruises from them toileting her with the EZ stand as her paralyzed left hand was not useable, got pinched between the bathroom door and the EZ stand,She also got left on the toilet for two hours, while being attached to the EZ stand. and no call light as they did not make one available to her, and if I was not on my break from my assisted living job, she would have been there a lot longer than she was,i have a really hard time talking about this, this is not what I want for any one, it makes me sick to my stomach, now I must tell you what was my moms demise, my mom suffered a stroke on her left side, which means she has her mind but her left side is paralyzed, but her brain is in tact,so she knew every thing that was going on,any way in the end of her nightmare,some fool put a pair of reg knee highs nylons on her, which she never wore,she had them stockings on for a total of 12 hours, and they were on her paralyzed leg that long which made it very painful for her, where a blood clot formed, and also she had sepsis, which ultimately killed her, a very painful death, all due to the poor care she had received in that nursing home!!

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Dec 14, 2013
Nursing Home Sorrows
by: Anonymous

so sorry for you and your mother. more laws are needed to regulate nursing home care. my mother was in one too. for three years. she had dementia and also had mobility issues. she died two years ago and like your mom suffered a coffee burn, she got bedsores and died of sepsis as well. i did as much as i could and had to stay on top of everything--she had hospice care the last 8 months--from an outside agency--thank God. They visted her 3-4 times a week, making sure she was fed and bathed.

Like you I have a hard time expressing anything about it. She died in my arms. She was on morphine for a few weeks before she passed--I can't tell you the agony I went through to get them to up her dosage. I would be there at every shift change to make sure the staff on duty did what they were supposed to do. It was a horror. To think that it would have been worse---which it would have been--without family watching is unthinkable.

Nov 23, 2013
Nightmare at the nursing home
by: Doreen UK

Mae I am so sorry for your loss of your mom at the nursing home and for all the stress and trauma you are going through now processing her loss and suffering. It is bad enough going through grief but to also have to grieve the suffering of your loved one is just too much to bear. Let's hope that this is just part of your grief and will pass with time and good support. My husband was neglected in his medical care and felt abandoned. I chose to nurse him at home for 3yrs.39days through lung cancer before he died. He was in a lot of pain and this left me with such trauma added to my grief. I took 6 months to do nothing but grief and cry and nurture myself back from the brink of suffering from this injustice to the man I loved.
Now my father is in a nursing home and my sister is giving us grief and we can do nothing as she had power of attorney and put our father in a home. Nursing homes are being exposed every day with such terrible atrocities of suffering to the elderly and this adds stress to our suffering for our father. There should be accountability to those held in a position of trust and they should be exposed and made to take responsibility for such injustices. I hope that you are able to resolve much of the injustices attached to your grief.

Nov 21, 2013
Nightmare at nursing home
by: Anonymous

Sorry for your loss.it is tough when you lose your mum under these circumstances.there were mistakes in my mum's care and she was at home. I feel guilty about the number of hours she spent alone each day, her last week on this earth. So i would say whether you chose a nursing home or care for them at home there will always be regrets.please don't blame yourself.you are not to blame. Your mum would want you to be happy.You did what you thought was right at the time.take care.

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