no home for 3 years (and counting)

by DMS

I had everything, everything. it all revolved around one person. a thread holding us all together, keeping things on the right path, guiding us in her quite soft nudges of love. now that is all gone. 3 years later and Im still stuck in the same place asking the same questions with the same anger. everyone has moved on even her children, but Im still stuck right here in this endless time that goes so quickly but never seems to stop. why want it end? why cant I move forward Im trapped in this cycle and cant get out and it hurts so much.

Comments for no home for 3 years (and counting)

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Aug 28, 2012
by: Anonymous

Iv taken your advice! Iv meeting someone next week. Im scared but at the same time I already feel relived. Im not one for sharing feeling which is one of the reasons Im probably having a hard time. and why being on this site was kind of a way a big release for me! again thank you for giving me the push I needed!

Aug 22, 2012
no home for 3 years (and counting)
by: Doreen U.K.

DMS You are stuck in grief and this is why you can't move forward and everyone is moving on and you can't understand why? You need to find yourself a grief counsellor who can work with you and assist you in your grief so that it won't be quite so painfull and be lasting forever. You just may have tougher issues to deal with so don't compare yourself to anyone else. Each one of us is individuals and we move at different paces and have different strengths and weaknesses. Don't let anyone tell you that you should be getting over your grief. Everyone works with grief differently. It will be a painfull experience but it will be worth it in the end because you will become a different person and you will be Happy again. I felt as if I had been grieving all my life. I went into counselling and I have emerged a more integrated person and I could never go back to the same person I was with the same problems. I got my life back. You will too.

Aug 22, 2012
being bewildered
by: DMS

thank you so much for replying, it is not my partner that I lost, but someone I looked up to a mother away from home. my family live in another country but I choice to live were I am now.
I wrapped my whole life around this family, everything I was and am is because they they helped me to be it. and when the pillar of the home dies its seems the whole family disintegrates. for a long time I was there for her kids my friends, but they married had kids and well moved on.
I feel like Im drifting, they were my home, and everyone we new in those amazing wonderful days have moved on have there own family's.
I feel stuck because I have no family to come home to, I board with an older couple its nice but its not my home. I just want this lost feeling to go away. I hate being a lone and it seems endless to me. you did make me see something Iv never realized the death of this special person is wrapped up in the the grief of being single and not having my own home and family. some how Iv lumped it all in to one place!

Aug 22, 2012
Your everything
by: Malgosia

Dear one, maybe I am wrong person to respond to your loss, because I am grieving the loss of my son, but maybe that why I do understand your loss.
Your partner was your whole world to you, and I understand that, her kids are having their own lives , so they went back to that. Don't think they don't grieve, they do for sure. But this is different grief - they lost their past. You, my dear lost your now and your future - and your grief is different. I wish I could tell You it will get better,but I can't, because I don't know. The only think I can suggest to You is that try to find a support group, meet anther people who are wolfing in your shoes, see how they are dealing with the loss of loved one. I wish you lot of strength and I hope you find your home.

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