No Longer Wedding, now Nightmare

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No Longer Wedding, now Nightmare

by Febe
(namibia)

Were almost 2 weeks away from the day we were gonna get married. Now that you are no longer here with me, how am i expected to get through this. what can i do to delete this day from my life. I do not want to see that days light of day and no i will not make it, i am not strong and i do not want to be strong.

All the joy and happiness that day was suppose to hold is now 10x the sorrow and grieve, the pain is no longer pain, someone needs to invent another word that can come close to what i feel.

Its been 80 days since you died and just left me, after all the future plans, i lost my future, someone tell me how one can go on without a future.

This is too much, really, too much at 26 i am not ready for all this pain cos i do not know how to handle it.

What now???.....

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No Longer Wedding, now Nightmare

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Feeling Cheated Out of Life
by: Alice

Febe,

I can somewhat relate to how you feel about having no more future. My husband died on our honeymoon in Maui, Hawaii last year. We were only married for 12 days. As you do, I feel very cheated out of life. I look around and ask "Why can't I have what other people have?" My whole future was taken away from me the day that my husband died.

I am much older than you and I met my husband late in life. I feel like I am too old to start over now. By the time my heart will be open to someone new again, I will be too old to have a baby and start a family.

I wake up every day and try to push myself to survive just that day. I hope you have a lot of friends and family to support you and help you get through this nightmare.

Alice

wedding
by: Jules

My heart goes out to you both - Febe and Zoe - Zoe you have such wise words, especially regarding this site - it has been my lifeline, I am eleven months since losing my love of 42 years - but this site has helped me more than any other single thing - one of the reasons of course, is that is there - 24/7 - no therapist or friend or family member can be there all the time.

But we on this site are -
You will go on - I know that seems impossible at the moment - but believe that your love believed in you - now you need to believe in yourself.
Read the other posts on this site - they will help - we are all in the same boat.

I will not say stay strong - but just take baby steps - don't expect too much of yourself, and if you feel this is the day you must stay in and cry all day - do it.
jules

we understand
by: Zoe

I understand what you are saying.
I have no answer.
John died March 21, 2010, we were to be married in a Month.
I do not want to be here without him. I cannot do this without him.
If you found this site then you have probably read some of it. we have a mantra (for lack of a better term) here it is the one thing we all share
~One step, one breath.

This site is a lifeline. It is where you can come and be heard. We are always here to listen.
At first you read your post, then you read others, and then, despite your own pain, you reach out.

We hold each other up here.
Some have therapists, some do not. I do, but I find more solace here.

I like you see no future, I do not know what will happen
but I do know this
one step, one breath. for right now, that is what we both need to hold onto
come back to us, express how you feel
we will always listen.

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No Longer Wedding, now Nightmare

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No Longer Wedding, now Nightmare