My mum passed away recently I was her carer for twenty years. I loved her dearly.

In the last few days I have been getting over a bad infection (kidneys). The test I had last week left me shattered.

What is really hurting my "family" married brother,sister in law and their children have not even rung to see how I am. I rang them before their vacation to tell them how ill I was.

I seem to be falling into the same trap as my mum use to of letting them upset me. They rarely visited her or my late father. The difference is I use to give mum and dad a big cuddle and tell them not to get upset.

There is no one to cuddle me. JUST GRIEF AND PAIN.

Thank you for listening.


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Aug 23, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear Lonely I am sorry for your loss of your mother and all the other losses of having a family who aren't caring for you as they should.
I am in the same place as you AND IT HURTS LIKE HELL. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I send you loads of HUGS. I wish you a speedy recovery from your kidney infection. I asked God to send me some new people in my life. I guess it is this website. But like you I do need people around me physically also. Even if it only to care for them. I AM A BORN CARER. This is how I EXIST. IT IS MY MISSION IN LIFE. Let me care for you. If you need to talk you can email me at
We live in a very self centred world and even though I know people have to get on with their own lives it doesn't hurt even to phone once in a while. I don't cater for family who at the graveside cry like my son and say. "I WISH I HAD DONE THIS AND THAT FOR MY DAD." he has got the chance to do this for ME HIS MOTHER. But instead HE WALKED AWAY because I told him it is no use crying about what you could have done for your Dad. You could have washed his car. BUT YOU DIDN'T. He ran away to live his own life. I hear about this more and more. At time of a death people will vanish from your life just when you need them the most. I have 3 wonderful sisters who are here for me and very supportive. I would crumble if I didn't have this support. I lost my husband 14 weeks ago. and I AM IN GRIEF. I hope that some friends come into your life and make a difference. That is what we all need.

Aug 22, 2012
by: PAT

Hello Lonely,
Today my daughter has been gone 4 months. She was my only child. It seems my family has moved on quickly. Have not heard from either of my brothers in almost 4 months. My Mom doesn't want to talk about it. My neices and nephews have faded away fast. I know what you mean by lonely.
My husband will barely speak about it. I feel so lost and depressed. Use to I could not sleep at first, now I could sleep 24/7 because I'm in my
own world. I am sorry for your loss. And I ahve
learned one thing over the years you can't count on family. Or at least I can't. If you ever need to talk, just let me know. I know how you feel.


Aug 22, 2012
Just a hug
by: kim

I am so sorry for all your pain. Everyone needs to be held at some point in their life. There are some people who just can't be bothered with anyone but themselves. Unfortunatly we have alot of selfish people in our world. But anyone who has lost someone knows of the pain that you are felling, and then to get bad news for yourself and not have someone to lean on is difficult. I just want you to know, that I can't physically give you a hug, but I am sending a hug your way and my thoughts are with you.

Aug 22, 2012
by: Anonymous

I totally understand how you feel, I WOULD GIVE YOU A HUG IF I was there.

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