NO reason to be here
I am sitting here this morning trying to figure out something to do.It is raining and I had planned to work in the yard If I am not working at something all I do is cry. It has almost been 11 months. But if I can't keep myself busy all I do is cry. I am sitting next to the couch where Roger died. He just fell asleep and took his last breath. I see that moment over and over when I sit here. I am hardly able to stand it. At the very last moment he smiled the most beautiful smile. Everyone says he saw his mother coming for him. Bull shit he smiled because he knew his boys and I (the people he loved most in the world) were there. It was the hardest moment in my life. The man I loved just left and he took me with him. I always had a purpose -I was Roger's wife. Now I have no purpose and I miss him so much I can't stand it. I will keep working, I have the cleanest house, the most beautiful garden (I dare you to find a weed) but I have no purpose I just travel this road until I can be with the man I love again - I wish it were today!