by Billy Mathews
We were together for almost nine years, In the beginning it was wonderful we fell in love quickly. We had known each other most of our lives but never really close. He was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I knew it in my heart. We were together about 2 years before his dad passed he went to the hospital a couple times of year for CHF. But always ended up coming home. Until this time we got to the hospital and his mom was in there with him she came out and told us they put him on the respirator. But hes going to be ok about a hour or so later they called his mom and him back there to see his dad and at that time he coded with them watching, The nurse came out and got me it was the worst thing I'd ever seen. And our lives were never the same again. After his loss he became very clingy for a couple of weeks so I told my employer at the time I needed time off I was going to be with him as long as he needed me. After about a month he started becoming very distant and irritable. In the mean time we were forced to move into his dads house witch his dad had left him he wasnt ready but if we didnt move in there his sister was going to. For the first year there everything was ok not great but bearable. In this time he had proposed to me I knew I wanted to be with him and I thought maybe us getting married would help him not feel so alone since his dads passing. I wanted him to know I wasnt going anywhere. We were married in March four months later are life really went down hill on my birthday July 19th he went to Terre Haute to get me a present had left that morning came back that evening come to find out he spend my birthday with his ex and their daughter. Boy was that a shocker but were married and I forgave him. Then in December we got in an argument and he left and was gone all night I find out a couple of months later he stayed the night with her. My heart was broke but I gave him another chance then in January he comes home from work and tells me he wants a divorce it wasnt working for him any more I was having my own issues at the time and had been a stay at home mother for a couple of months. So it wasnt as if I just had the money to get up and leave besides I have two boys of my own. He had 3 kids and I had my two and we never had much luck with the combining of the two families it didnt help that two of his children's mother never had anything nice to say about me so she made it very difficult. It took me about a month and a half to move out witch he made that time pure hell for me and my children. I finally left with no job or no car cause he was making payments on my explorer so I couldnt take it.I found a wonderful landlord who let me move in with nothing down I got a job at a nursing home with in walking distance. It took me a minute but I got back on my feet. But I did, then on July 5th we had to go to court for our divorce I had been talking to him for a couple of weeks prior to that he wanted to get back together I was thinking about it then he came over the morning of court with hickies on his neck so I was done. Heart ripped out again. We were apart for about 3 months then ended up getting back together. Everything was perfect again so I thought then one evening while he napped on the couch I got a weird feeling to look at his phone so I did and seen where he had been messaging one of the girls he was seeing while we were separated, so again I was done. After a couple of months I had finally started to move on I get a text out of the blue he needs to talk to me, so I meet him at the park he tells me hes dying he has cancer. So what do I do I told the guy I was seeing the situation and that I had to be there for Jake he needed me so we got back together. Now we've been back together for about a year come to find out he had lied about the cancer but again I forgave him. We've gotten along pretty good this past year I have come to fall deeply and completely in love with him again. On July 27 we went away for the weekend just the two of us it was wonderful and I dont recall a happier time together. Then on the next weekend he calls me and says he cant do this any more his 16 year old daughter hates me and wont be in his life if I'm in it. Mind you she has never liked me. I am so devastated this last week has been pure and total hell I'm so lost I dont understand he has not even contacted his daughter he's been hanging out with his friends and who knows what else he wont return my text or answer my calls I feel like such a fool I didnt even see this coming. I've never in my life felt this much pain at once. To have someone turn so quickly and to make it worse the day he said it was over and I started balling he said this is just as hard on me as it is on you this its not what I want either but its what I have to do for a daughter hes only seen maybe 3 times the last 4 years. At this point I dont see how I can go on I it feels like part of me is missing and all I do is sit and cry all the time even at work between patients I cant stop it. Im so depressed and dont know what to do he knows Im going threw hell I call and leave a voice mail everyday. But he dont care the hardest part is I should of known this would happen again but I was completely blindsided.