Not a true daddys girl but he was still my world

by Alison K
(Valley Springs, South Dakota)

me and my dad, at one of our family fires in the backyard

me and my dad, at one of our family fires in the backyard

I was 13 almost 14 on the 21 of July in 2008 about to go into 8th grade. My dad, 51, died on July 1, 2008 after a 3 year battle of cancer, we didn’t celebrate my birthday that year.. I wasn’t a true daddy’s girl, i wasn’t spoiled, nothing like that. But i still feel that he was the center of my world even if no one else seen it. He took my side when i was in trouble even if i was wrong and always gave me a chance. He called me his “girly cakes". I loved going places with him. I remember the last year i had school when he was around, i was in volleyball. He'd pick me up every day after practice got out and was always early and parked in the same spot. When i had games no matter where they where he would always drive behind the bus just to watch me play even if i only got to play once. He had to have a air pump with him where ever he went but i wasn’t scared to be seen around him with it, he was my only support bc my mom was to busy with other things and never came to a game but it didn’t matter i would rather have had him there.
see my dad was in the air force back in CA, USA before i was born and after a lot of years got out when i was born. we all moved out to SD wear we still are. He was the dad that would wake up in the middle of the night and say with you all night bc your sick even tho he had to go to work at 12am that day. He was my protector and i looked up to him.
Its been 4 years, im 18 now and start college next year, he would be 55. I still visit his grave every few weeks and make sure everything is taken care of. i have a mom, two brothers and a sister ( im the youngest). It seems like everyone moved on and forgot him, my oldest brother never even came to say goodbye to him after 8 years of no contact with my dad, my other brother moved away and my sister went back to Mississippi, and my mom she found a boyfriend after a year and forgot all about my dad ( she still to this day hasn’t been to his grave after july 4, 2008).
I seen remember him and live through everything he taught me. I will never leave him behind or forgotten. Always loved and never forgotten.
Forever his “girly cakes",

Comments for Not a true daddys girl but he was still my world

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Oct 20, 2012
Your so special
by: Lori

I read your letter and was touched by your heart.Your Father is close by you and will be always.Love and luck in your journey through this life.

Oct 20, 2012
Doreen UK
by: Anonymous

This is crazy Lori Ann. I really thought your letter to Allison in South Dakota was so well written and compassionate.Here's to you.

Oct 07, 2012
Not a true daddy's girl but he was still my world
by: Doreen U.K.

Alison you have coped well with the loss of your dad at such a young age. Don't be too hard on your mom if she was so busy that she didn't go to your games. Your Dad probably stood in for her. Kind of representing her also. I am a mom. I care about my children. I guess there will be times when they felt I could have supported them better but I didn't because I was busy. Moms have to shop, prepare food, cook, do dishes, clean house etc.etc.etc. they just get caught up in it all.
My husband suffered cancer also for over 3yrs. and he died 5 months ago. My husband Steve loved his three children but he had to go to work sometimes 7 days a week for the past 46yrs. He was tired. He came home late. I had to bring up 3 children all by myself. When Steve was dying of cancer our son didn't visit him much. STeve felt sad. Steve started thinking that he was so busy working he didn't have time to be a father so this is why his son is not visiting him or caring for him. But I knew in my heart that Steve was tired. When he did his day's work he used all his spare time and holidays building up the home for his family. My children have a gap in their lives that a father so busy caring for his family didn't have the time to fill in the way our childen needed. Today they act as if they didn't care. But I know they did. Try and not judge your brother, sister, and mom for their supposed lack of sensitivity towards your dad's death as you see it. Every one has different experiences with your dad. If they show a lack of concern now it is because they may have a VOID in their life. You won't know unless you talk and find out. The way you feel now is part of your grief and may change over time. Don't lose relationship with your mom or siblings at this crucial time when you need each other. If you genuinely feel that your siblings and mom are wrong then you will have to move on and build up your own independent relationships.

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