Not Just a Dog...Siah Is My Soul Mate
by Wess Staats
(Boulder, Colorado, USA)
My Lovey for life
NOT JUST A DOG: In honor of my CC… My Siah.
I’m nearing the first 24 hours since I last saw and touched my precious furry baby Siah and witnessed him play his final act in this earthly game… With tears in my eyes, I begin this incredibly difficult journey of letting go and this is one step in the mourning process in honoring him and his memory…
I am home now, surrounded by all that has been a part of who he is. I have been paralyzed with pain, sadness and longing to see the one thing that has mattered to me most in my life for the past 3 and a half years…
I have not been fortunate to find that special someone to start a life with. I have not been blessed with children, a home and a stable job and income. I have, however, been blessed to have shared in the deepest of love for every furry friend who has shared life with me. And, I have been so amazingly blessed by a life with my Siah.
I have known Siah for most his life; helping his previous owner care for him and spending countless hours together… Three years ago, I was ecstatic to have finally been granted my one wish that I so craved over the years; to finally have him for myself to dote on and care for with all all my heart. He was finally and officially part of my family, my pack; Wess and Siah, together at last... And, most importantly, Siah finally had his long deserved freedom to be a part of a much fuller and loving life. We were best friends and inseparable! Everyday, 24/7!
You may love animals. You may even have pets. You may share in the intensity of love for animals that the mere thought of losing your best furry friend leaves you with a chest so heavy with pain, a heart so full of longing and aching that you are paralyzed. There is only one love in my book and when you lose the object of that love, it rips through you like a tidal wave and renders you listless with a tremendous hole in your heart. A huge part of life is missing… gone. Your life is turned upside down now and is forever different.
Looking back, despite the pain I feel now, I wouldn’t have given up the chance to have Siah in my life. Siah has enjoyed a better and more fulfilling life; from frolicking in the snow up in the mountains to many “first time experiences” like swimming for the first time with me and retrieving balls in the lake and on land, endless hikes and runs through the woods, traveling in a Uhaul to another home in another state. (Oh my God, I swear I felt he was just snoring next to me just now…sigh…)
Siah has seen the Pacific Ocean for the first time and fetched balls on the beach. He’s hiked through sand dunes and ate the best of organic foods, while lounging, as he pleased, inside (not outside…) our “home” with his choice of 4 beds; couch, living room doggie bed, bedroom doggie bed or our shared bed. And, the freedom to come in and out of the house as he pleased…
Just to know he is/was there by my side everyday, all day, was an exceptionally magical feeling. No complaints, even as his hind end started to interfere severely with his ability to walk, he was a trooper; always making the best of the situation and eager to be by my side, despite his deteriorating state.
We have all heard of people who prefer animals to humans, and, for all the obvious reasons, it makes sense. I don’t think I need to state the many reasons. I have been quite reclusive these past number of years and Siah has been by my side, loving me through it all…
For me, Siah was truly my keeper, my undeniably unconditional best friend. He filled my heart each day with happiness regardless of how difficult my life has been. He gave me hope, a reason to get up and believe that it can be better… It is, truly, all about the moment… the here and now…sigh… I miss him so.
I listen now to the silence and pray his beautiful spirit swirls around me and fills me with strength and boundless love as I carry on this journey alone…
I leave you tonight, as the hour nears when my Siah and I said goodbye last night, with one of my favorite writings I discovered many years ago. Please read and share, in Siah’s memory.
Thank You All for taking the time to read and share with me my memories of my Beautiful Boy, Siah.
Love, Peace and Paws
Please visit this link for “Just a Dog”