Not Just a Dog...Siah Is My Soul Mate

by Wess Staats
(Boulder, Colorado, USA)

My Lovey for life

My Lovey for life

NOT JUST A DOG: In honor of my CC… My Siah.

I’m nearing the first 24 hours since I last saw and touched my precious furry baby Siah and witnessed him play his final act in this earthly game… With tears in my eyes, I begin this incredibly difficult journey of letting go and this is one step in the mourning process in honoring him and his memory…

I am home now, surrounded by all that has been a part of who he is. I have been paralyzed with pain, sadness and longing to see the one thing that has mattered to me most in my life for the past 3 and a half years…

I have not been fortunate to find that special someone to start a life with. I have not been blessed with children, a home and a stable job and income. I have, however, been blessed to have shared in the deepest of love for every furry friend who has shared life with me. And, I have been so amazingly blessed by a life with my Siah.

I have known Siah for most his life; helping his previous owner care for him and spending countless hours together… Three years ago, I was ecstatic to have finally been granted my one wish that I so craved over the years; to finally have him for myself to dote on and care for with all all my heart. He was finally and officially part of my family, my pack; Wess and Siah, together at last... And, most importantly, Siah finally had his long deserved freedom to be a part of a much fuller and loving life. We were best friends and inseparable! Everyday, 24/7!

You may love animals. You may even have pets. You may share in the intensity of love for animals that the mere thought of losing your best furry friend leaves you with a chest so heavy with pain, a heart so full of longing and aching that you are paralyzed. There is only one love in my book and when you lose the object of that love, it rips through you like a tidal wave and renders you listless with a tremendous hole in your heart. A huge part of life is missing… gone. Your life is turned upside down now and is forever different.

Looking back, despite the pain I feel now, I wouldn’t have given up the chance to have Siah in my life. Siah has enjoyed a better and more fulfilling life; from frolicking in the snow up in the mountains to many “first time experiences” like swimming for the first time with me and retrieving balls in the lake and on land, endless hikes and runs through the woods, traveling in a Uhaul to another home in another state. (Oh my God, I swear I felt he was just snoring next to me just now…sigh…)

Siah has seen the Pacific Ocean for the first time and fetched balls on the beach. He’s hiked through sand dunes and ate the best of organic foods, while lounging, as he pleased, inside (not outside…) our “home” with his choice of 4 beds; couch, living room doggie bed, bedroom doggie bed or our shared bed. And, the freedom to come in and out of the house as he pleased…

Just to know he is/was there by my side everyday, all day, was an exceptionally magical feeling. No complaints, even as his hind end started to interfere severely with his ability to walk, he was a trooper; always making the best of the situation and eager to be by my side, despite his deteriorating state.

We have all heard of people who prefer animals to humans, and, for all the obvious reasons, it makes sense. I don’t think I need to state the many reasons. I have been quite reclusive these past number of years and Siah has been by my side, loving me through it all…

For me, Siah was truly my keeper, my undeniably unconditional best friend. He filled my heart each day with happiness regardless of how difficult my life has been. He gave me hope, a reason to get up and believe that it can be better… It is, truly, all about the moment… the here and now…sigh… I miss him so.

I listen now to the silence and pray his beautiful spirit swirls around me and fills me with strength and boundless love as I carry on this journey alone…

I leave you tonight, as the hour nears when my Siah and I said goodbye last night, with one of my favorite writings I discovered many years ago. Please read and share, in Siah’s memory.

Thank You All for taking the time to read and share with me my memories of my Beautiful Boy, Siah.

Love, Peace and Paws

~Wess

Please visit this link for “Just a Dog”

http://dalesdesigns.net/justadog.htm

Comments for Not Just a Dog...Siah Is My Soul Mate

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Nov 02, 2016
Thank you
by: JMRMason

I just wanted to say thank you. Reading what you wrote is the absolute closest to how I feel - I lost my 8.5 year old Leonberger/Great Pyrenees mix a week ago and I have said he was my soulmate for years. I feel as though I am a broken person, especially compared to myself when I was with him. You could not have said anything more awesome and I thank you for putting into words what I was having trouble doing. Mason is my soulmate. Beyond my "heart dog". So, thank you for writing this.

Oct 17, 2016
My 12-yr old soul mate
by: Anonymous

I just lost my dalmation 3wks ago, he was 12-and was born on my birthday, every year my wife would put 2- candles on our cake. It is true pet loss can hurt more than humans. I lost my parents and some of my family, but this hurts more. This dog was like part of me as my own child. yes every little things that reminds me of him bring me into tears.
when I am alone he was the one I talked to. I am 64-years young. as an young elder I do believe like children, pets are gifts from god.I do miss my Odie, Some where I do pray when I do leave this world I hope he be the first one see in spirit world. Im a Native American Indian. our belief is the pets aquire copys of our souls from our human love for them, they become part of us,

Oct 29, 2015
i understand u
by: natasha merciecaAnonymous

last month i also had to say goodbye to my
beautiful boy Blacky he was a labrador and he was 13 years old I miss him terribly though I have a husband and son I used to go everywhere with him i feel my life lost direction for the last couple of months my husband and I nursed him at home it was so sad and when I put him to sleep the tears couldn t stop last sunday 25 th october was his first month since his passing i lit him a candle near his ashes which I keep by my bedside for now I m not ready to love another one maybe oneday I will only time will tell Blacky you left pawprints in my heart I LOVE YOU YOU LL BE ALWAYS LOVED ALWAYS MISSED AND ALWAYS REMEMBERED MY DEAR.

Sep 22, 2015
Janet- I so get it...
by: Wess

I am so sorry for your loss of your fur baby boy, Sammy. I was in the same place with the loss of my Siah a couple of years ago, and then my mother- also my best friend, died three months later. I was devastated. She bequeathed me her Doxie, Roxie, who I had for a little over a year but loss her as well. It's been a roller coaster of love and loss but I have now open my heart to a rescue puppy and have a new family again. Nothing/noone ever replaces any of our precious fur babies' but filling life up again with the joy, love, and yes, hard work, of a new angel is a blessing and one I can not deny myself. Take care of yourself during this time of grieving and know that you will be with Sammy again one day. And, you may open your heart to save another little soul and fill your life with joy and love again. Many Blessings. Wess

Sep 13, 2015
Sammy ...My gift & soul mate from heaven
by: Janet

I came across your story and tears were rolling down my face as I am experiencing the same identical loss but he was a cat. He was 90% dog, so intelligent, beautiful and the best little animal anyone could ever of had in their life. I had a dog that I mourned also years and years ago and never thought another animal would matter like him BUT this little guy or my baby boy as I called him Sammy came into my life a short eight years ago and just made a special place in my heart as I cared for my mom with Alzheimer's disease. My mom died in 2012 and Sammy mourned her for 6 mos as well. He used to put his little white paw on her shoulder as he sat on the ledge behind her when she ate her breakfast. I would tell him to watch her for a short 20 min. as I went to the grocery store and he would give me a meow as if to say OK and I would find him on the arm of her chair facing her when I came home. He was so proud when I would praise him and tell me what a great help he is to me. When my mom passed I couldn't find a job to save my life. I couldn't keep the house anymore and was in the process of losing it. I went through so many ups and downs and was totally petrified and crying all the time. Sammy was my one source of comfort and I always thought as long as we have each other I didn't care what happened. He was so funny and so vocal and always doing little antics and would look back to see if I was watching to make me laugh. When I would go out for some reason I couldn't wait to get home to see him and he would be by the door like a little dog waiting and his tail would qwiver at the base somewhat like a dog. I would stare at him in amazement sometimes thinking how lucky I was picked in this world to have him. I didn't have children so Sammy was my boy. We finally moved to an Apt. which neither he or I really liked and I remember holding him one day saying "we don't have anyone and yes hate this place because it was so small but at least we have each other. He being so young still I thought I'd have him a good 11-12 yrs more. Sammy just wasn't adjusting fast enough to the move and I couldn't figure out why. I took him to the vet and he was checked out and found to be healthy with all his blood work etc. He was a little under weight though but still not bad enough to be alarming and it was said to be anxiety from the move. He began holding his urine for 2-3 days at a time for weeks and again he was found ok with no blockages and it was just anxiety or they said behavorial. I took him to another vet because the vet seemed to be getting bored with him now. This new vet checked him out again and found he had cancer. I was devastated and couldn't believe it. They did a biopsy and found Adenocarcinoma of the sinus and nasal cavity and said it was very, very bad and wanted me to make a decision right there. I said in no way am I putting him down. His peeing problem resolved itself and he was now acting normal in everyway. I took him to an Oncologist and he began chemo. I felt he was young and he should be given every chance of living. I guess I was so naïve or only heard what I wanted to hear and never thought of him dying and thought the chemo would take care of everything and he would be as good as new. I didn't know or didn't want to hear that chemo only extends an animals life for a while and doesn't cure them like humans. He passed away in the Apt. 3 mos later. I sat with him as he laid on the couch in a deep sleep. His oncologist was called several times during that day ( it was a Sunday) and she said to keep him comfortable and to bring him in the next morning. Whenever he had a bad day he always rebounded the very next. I kept thinking this is just a bad day and still couldn't think of him dying and I would bring him into the vet the next day and she would adjust his meds and we will be on our way. He quietly passed at 10:50 PM that evening. I was in total shock and took him in to the vet wrapped in his little blanket and couldn't believe I would not be driving back home with him. I had always told him when we went for the chemo TX that he was coming home with me and not to worry I would not be leaving him at the vet. This time I was leaving him and I couldn't stop crying. I'm sure and I didn't care that everyone in the entire vet heard me. I had him buried in a Pet Cemetery next to my dog that died yrs ago. His grave market is inscribed Sammy, a Gift From Heaven, Janet 2007-2015. He has been gone now 3 mos. and I am still devastated and keep thinking it is all just a bad dream and I will wake up soon & cry constantly. Yes, I go on and do the things I need to do in life but catch myself crying in the car all the time and tears swelling up in the store etc. He was my baby boy, BEST friend, partner and soul mate. I am grieing so hard I can't tell you and will be for a very long time. I don't like to feel this way but I don't want it to end either because I can't ever imagine letting him go. He was all I had and I feel I lost a child. I joined a Pet Loss Support Group recently where I can cry with others and talk with others that have lost their furry babies and feel in a safe environment knowing how we all feel. I left after my first meeting crying all the way home thinking why couldn't I have been at a cooking group or exercise class etc. NOT a group for losing my soul mate and best friend ever! I miss you little guy and you will always be my precious baby boy. Please understand for some that don't know that Chemo. for animals is not like it is for a human. Animals handle chemo like it's nothing and go about their lives. It isn't harsh on their systems like a human because it isn't pushed to the limits for a cure but to extend their lives and give them a quality of life for the time being. In my mind all I heard was this will be a cure and I still can't believe my baby boy is gone.

Sep 08, 2015
Freddy
by: Lisa

I lost my beloved 16 year old tabby 2 weeks ago. Freddy was my soul mate and my reason for most everything. Im heartbroken and lost without him. I know that I will see him again but until then, my life will never be the same. I miss him terribly.

Jul 19, 2015
My Penner Magoo...
by: Anonymous

I just stumbled on your article and it touched me so deeply. I know exactly how you feel. I'm a 40 yr old woman with no children.
In 2000, my furbaby soul mate, Penny, came into my life. She was rescued from a puppy mill...a tiny teacup chihuahua, and from the moment we laid eyes on each other, I had this strange feeling that she was sent to me. It was like she knew me, and could read everything about me.
Even family members were so attached to Pen-Pen, they all acknowledged that there was something so different and so special about her.
Looking back, she came into my life when I was at a very low point...suffering from depression and many other personal/emotional issues. I was very lonely and lost, and from the moment I first held Pen in my arms, I felt peace.
She was my unconditional love through so many turbulent times, my best friend, my heart, and every single night for the 14 years that we were blessed with her, she would lick my left arm to help me to go sleep! lol (I've always suffered from anxiety and insomnia) and it worked...every time!
Pen passed away last May 20th, age 15 years and 8 months. She developed kidney disease, which we managed for months until it finally took her life and we had to make the most agonizing decision to put her down.
The emptiness and grief is so overwhelming and so deep it was/is unlike anything we've ever experienced. Like another com mentor, I slept with Pen's stuffed animal and blanket for days because it smelled like her. I have a box filled with her babies and doggie sweaters, that I would open and smell her scent. The pain of wanting to hold her and look in her eyes is horrific.
I'd like to say it gets better with time....there are still many, many rough days, when the pain will come back and stab me all over like knives, but time goes on and you just learn to live with the loss....
I find consolation in the belief that Pen visits me. I find white feathers after her passing now, and recently my fiancee and I found an owl pendant at the post office, at our feet that said: I will love you to the moon and back." I got chills, because I used to always sing to her...."I will love you for a thousand years"...and I felt the assurance and comfort that she's still always with me. :)

May 12, 2015
my Lucky
by: Anonymous

He was the love of my life! We were proud to be with one another! March 20,2015 was the worst day of my life! Losing my special boy like that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do! It was love at first sight also and we were "Lucky in love" I was his and he was mine! Nothing better than just sitting next to him or running in the park together! Can't wait to see him again ! Miss you my Lucky boy 🐶

Apr 22, 2015
Just a Dog
by: Paula

He tells me everyday I am his reason for being, as he lays his head against me. His eyes search my soul as he gazes up at me. His shear presence beside me makes me feel invincible, he is my protector, my confidante.
He is the part of me that can reach the farthermost horizon's.
He is always exuberant, full of forgiveness, willing to please and be my instant clown when I need to laugh.
Without him I am just another lonely being on this road of life, he makes me feel so much more.
He has taught me so many things, from patience and perseverance, devotion and unconditional love, peace and inner strength.
There is no love more powerful than this, and nobody less deserving than me. He is my DOBERMANN.

Nov 06, 2014
Thanks for sharing your love of Siah
by: Anonymous

I too lost my soul mate two weeks ago today, my one and only Diablo. Unexpectedly, I had to lay him to rest while in my arms due to complications from pancreatitis. Now the shock has gone, I am left with only the gut wrenching heartache that makes every part of my physical and mental being ache to no end. No one could understand our bond. This girl and her min pin were one, living one life. We too were together 24/7, work, play and sleep. While all those who care about me are now starting to worry about my health, all I can think or say is 'You just don't understand what Diablo meant to me. He was the great love of my life and I will never be the same'.
It's hard to explain that once in a lifetime bond to your beloved best furry friend, but Wess, I need to thank you for sharing this story of your love of Siah. You put into words very much how I feel, providing some much needed comfort to a very dark time. I wish you continued healing and hope Siah continues to send you great love from the other side. And please know that by sharing you story, you have shared a priceless gift with this humble truly devastated girl missing her soulmate .

Oct 27, 2014
I feel it too
by: Anonymous

This for ur darling Sia, I feel it too as I hve lost my soulmate 7 mths bk, bt time n life has gone away wth her, I feel ur pain fr Sia, bt rmbr u hve t complete ur circle of life n unite wth Sia frvr, as I too await t unite wth my soulpet, n that is my motivation t all of our like minded people who hve known the love of a soulmate, I believe we are the lucky few chosen ones by God that he gave us that experience of being blessed t find n know the love of our soulmate in ths lifetime, god bless our pets in heaven

Jun 28, 2014
I understand
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry. My best friend and soul mate was a Great Dane. She died in march. I don't like the world without her. I can't believe I'm expected to live so long without her.

Mar 13, 2013
i am here
by: Cheyenne from Xavier

Yes, miss staats i understand. I can be here for you.. P.S. This is Cheyenne from Xavier. I hope everything will be okay for you. You can do this. I am here for you. If you need to talk you can email me. my email is just my first inital then my last name... boesiger.. at student.xaviercharter.org.... you can email me. i would love to talk with you some more.

Feb 27, 2013
I am so sorry...
by: Heidi

Wess-

Your story of Siah brought me to tears. I just lost my best friend this last Saturday. He was my baby, my helper, my companion, and my heart. He was an 11 year old beautiful German Shepherd but he was more than a dog to me. I do not have children so he was my child. I have so much more to say about my sweet, sweet boy but this post is about you.

Please tell me your experience in the grieving process because as of right now, I feel as though I will never heal. My pain is so deep and my life seem empty, rearranged, something missing. Will this pain subside? Will I love again the way I love him? He was my everything, now he is gone.

Feb 18, 2013
Cheyenne
by: Wess

Is this Cheyenne from Xavier?
He died In November... It's been a really hard battle for me. He was everything to me... Thank you for reaching out and connecting with me. How are you?

Feb 17, 2013
Siah
by: Cheyenne Boesiger

Miss. Staats... when did your dog die? I am so soory that Siah has left you. I hope you are able to deal with your loss. Be safe. :)

Jan 06, 2013
For Tucker's Mommy
by: Wess

Thank you so much to for taking the time to read about my sweet Siah.

I am so sorry for your loss. What precious angels our furry babies are. The picture of Tucker's silhouette is magical. What a wonderfully magical expression Tucker was conveying. I keep waiting and hoping for my magical moment with Siah.

I went to a bereavement group yesterday at our local humane society. There was one comment which really stood out for me by someone. He is currently enduring the pain caring for a disabled doggie-child who is, inevitably, going to cross the Rainbow Bridge soon. He commented on how we, animal lovers, in a way, are quite remarkable parents. We know the life of each of our furry children is very short and yet, we are willing to accept this and embrace it with all our soul and love, regardless of having to endure the pain of their leaving us over and over again.

I know I will open my heart again to my next furry love and my love for animals and the loss of Siah has made me want to reinvent myself. Despite my Masters in Fine Arts, I absolutely have to surround myself with animals and contribute to making their lives on earth a better and safer one. I am looking into going back to school...something to do with animal behavioral sciences... not sure yet but I am definitely going to become certified as a dog trainer first and start a new business helping to build better relationships with human and canine. :)

I hope you are being kind to yourself... I find myself having to think about how Siah would treat me, he would want me to take care of myself... and I have got to listen to this... and take action...

Best to you and please know I am here for you anytime. :)

~♥Wess

Jan 03, 2013
Feeling your pain
by: Tucker's Mommy

Hi Wess, I too am feeling your pain. I laid to rest my 8 year old Yorkie Mix on Dec. 26th, 2012. I found it hard to get out of bed...I have a little boy that turned 5 on January 1st...I had to plan a birthday party in the midst of all of my grief. If you can allow yourself to believe, your Siah may come back to you. It happened to me, I posted pictures of my Tucker's Journey...but it hasn't been published on this site yet. I hope that we can all find the strength to remember the happier times...it will be hard but we can do it. I miss my Tuckie-Monkey so much. My husband and I have another dog, a cairn terrier, and I have to remember to be strong for her as well. Keep in touch...and God Bless you and Siah

Jan 01, 2013
So beautiful Brad.
by: Wess Staats

I am sooooooooooo sorry about your loss of your precious partner/soulmate, Russell.

Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem and tribute to your angel, Russell.

I know the throws of pain and sorrow you must be going through. I am still deeply in it myself, now 6 weeks later. My Siah kept me going each day. To be greeted by such love and happiness every morning was absolutely magical. He was, indeed, my magic every day. Life seems so empty without him...

Those precious moments you had with Russell that showed you how joy and love are magical, hold onto them. We have been so blessed by our Siah and Russell; sharing in those moments opened our hearts to true love...allowing us to live in the moment; to feel, to love, to embrace in its wonder...

Brad, feel free to contact me anytime as I know having someone here, even if it is in cyber space, who truly understands the depth of the loss of our furry best friend helps in the journey of grieving and healing.

I know the love I have for animals and my desire to help those most needy will lead me to rescue another precious angel again...until then, life is not whole...

Please be good to yourself...Russell would want you to... He is with you even now, forever enveloping you with the love that only you two shared so deeply.

Peace and Love ~❤~ Wess

Dec 31, 2012
A poem for you Wess
by: Brad Cooke

I lost my partner/soul mate 7 days ago and your words and life with Siah mimic my experience in a uncanny and healing way as I Grieve beyond anything ever before. I want to share this poem I wrote and when I have the energy to tell more I will share.....His name was Russell.

In Adoration of The Pooh

It’s morning.
I call you from your slumber
all warm and yeasty,
your hair ruffled up like soft horns,
you beaming brighter than a headlight
in anticipation of the new day.

Silly dog,
tender brown niblet,
luscious little beast,
Pumpkin head, Poodle, Pie,
Pubescent, Pooh Berry, Russell…

And so begins
the new day just like every day waiting for the next walk,
the next adventure, the jingle of the collar, the sound of
movement towards the chariot of joy.

Rooting about for words
to match your perfectness, your living in the moment joy,
your sheer delight in presence, and in my presence.

All morning I groom you with tiny love names.
you are my baby boy, picking stickers and ticks with the love of thousands of years. I am a sound nymph
Tickling you with alliteration, a Swedish masseuse
rubbing you with love.

Who would have known my love
would rise up so fiercely, hover
deliriously for a four legged companion,
all day the adjectives landing and re-landing,
determined to match your infinite perfection

My Best Friend, My Dear Sweet Dog.


~ Brad ~



Dec 15, 2012
Thank you Squeak Part 2
by: Wess

The vet called a few days later and told me a few things they discovered in the necropsy, that the hole had healed over and, if I let myself think about it, I am overwhelmed with guilt. She said there were other things that they were looking at and the full necrocy will be available to me later but to know that when they finally found the right antibiotic for him, he was beginning to heal...and they didn't know until after I let him go... They believed I did the right thing but I am hurting and longing for him... I spent a week in bed and am now finally participating in life a little, bit by bit... I am hoping (praying?) to get a sign from him... his spirit...
16 years ago, I had another Angel dog of 16 years.

I grappled with whether I believed in euthanasia all summer long. Abbey was getting stuck in corners often and found sprawled in her own urine for hours... I had this incredible ceremony at the house we grew up together. I had a few very special friends come, bought a cedar tree, played the Indigo Girls, The Cedar Tree, bought her her favorite food and had the vet come to us. It was so peaceful and beautiful. We buried her under the pine tree with all my other childhood pet friends and then hiked up a mountain to Abbey Pond, her name sake...

Planning a ceremony of such respect for my loved one was absolutely essential.

Do not think about the time you have left with Flint. I know that is easier said than done but Flint is still very much a part of life. Celebrate, cherish and love her. We are so lucky to have the love from our furry ones and to be able to give love to them is magical.
I am here for you if you need support. Take care of each other and hugs to you all the way out to Australia. :)

Dec 15, 2012
Thank you Squeak Part 1
by: Wess

Oh Squeak, thank you for taking the time to read about my sweet boy, Siah. To know others out there care about animals like I do makes a huge difference. I know you are fearful in anticipating your sweet Flints' numbered days. You have her now and cherish every second you have with your precious Angel.
I didn't have that kind of time when Siah passed on. It happened all so fast and unexpectedly.
Over a year ago, he had tie back surgery. He had paralysis of the larynx. I had to be extremely careful with food, etc. so he didn't aspirate. He was also loosing the use of his hind legs. Two weeks earlier I brought him in to see our vet as he was coughing. We took xrays and decided to put him on antibiotics for 12 days. Why just 12 as oppose to 14, I don't know. I brought him again after the 12 days I mentioned he was coughing still and a little differently. We took more xrays and the vet seemed to think he was ok. This was Monday night. By Weds. morning he was coughing and vomiting. I had already had an appointment to see a Neurologist an hour and a half away at F C Veterinarian Teaching Hospital but by the time we got there, he was barely able to walk. My vet told me, on the way there, that I was going to the right place... Siah had to be admitted to Critical overnight... They had to do do a throat culture to be sure to give him the proper antibiotic. He was breathing horribly. I spent the night in a hotel. The next day they called at 7:30 am to tell me that there wasn't much improvement but was stable. Then, two hours later, on the way to visiting hours, they called and told me he took a turn for the worse and if they could stick a tube into his rib cage to help pump the air out. Apparently, he had blown a hole in one lung. They told me he had 30-40% chance... They spoke of the costs, they spoke of his prognosis... days of recovery if he were to heal... then being 13 and having neurological issues... I was all alone..,. I was horrified to see him like that and then horrified to make a decision to end his life. I knew he would fight. He and I were inseparable. He was my best friend. 24/7 side by side...

I have a limit of 3000 characters here so I'll write this in a two part response.

Dec 15, 2012
not just a dog siah is my soul mate
by: squeak

omg i just red your story about your beautiful siah my face is wet from the tears she is so beautiful my little dog a Maltese cross flint is her name flint and i have been together for 15 years i cant help but think my time with her is running short just the thought of loosing her omg i dont no how i am going to cope i am one of Steve Irwins wild life warriors i just love animals so so much i have had my horse sunny die on my lap as that waz so heart breaking the thought of loosing my little flint just even over rides that i once got told flint waz to closely connected to me by a animal healer i do feel we are one she is so so precious i feel for you loosing your beautiful baby girl we can only hope that we are reunited with our girls again oh please let it be true you take care of yourself and keep siah in your heart forever and i will enjoy my beautiful little flint till our time comes to part love to you animal lover squeak x i live in Bridgetown south west western Australia

Dec 07, 2012
Thank you for Caring...
by: Wes

Thank you so much Debi. I am so sorry for your loss as well. Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for yoru sweet kind words of encouragement. Everyday is a new day and I know the pain will lesser.
Last night was especially last night...

This is what I wrote to help me get through it...:

Tonight I am approaching the last hour marking the official moment when, one week ago today, I had battled with the agony of making the horrifying decision to let my baby pass over the Rainbow Bridge...Approaching the moment of my last kiss on his gray muzzle, my last stroke of his silky black ear, my last hug around his delicate chest, my last gaze into his beautiful brown eyes ... my last moment to tell him how much I love him and how magical it has been to have him in my life, thanking him for sharing his love, kindness and unyielding loyalty as my best friend... and that he is ok to go now... join his buddy Lady, Abbey, Nickita, Meeshie, Sebastian and Duchess... and shine on me with his precious love and guidance...

...I finally got out today to walk Siah's and my hiking/running trail in honor of this poignant day... While filled with sadness of walking it for the first time without him, happy memories did come to mind to help sooth the pain. At the top of the mountain, I perched upon our favorite look out spot and quietly gazed upon the open plains below...

There will be many more "firsts" to face without my CC...

Dec 07, 2012
Siah
by: Debi M.

Wess -

I am so sorry for your loss of Siah. What a great picture of the two of you! I lost my bulldog Chewy in May. I remember picking up her ashes from the vet and feeling a comfort knowing that I was taking her home. I keep a picture of her near my computer and her memorial box is nearby. I think about her everyday and sometimes the tears come, but she is always in my heart. I wish you comfort and peace in the days ahead and God Bless you for loving our "furry children".

Best,

Debi M.
Texas

Dec 05, 2012
My Precious CC Came Home Today...
by: Wess

My CC is with me now…He came to me in the mail today... A day I've both dreaded and anxiously awaited...I wanted him back and yet I didn't know if I was ready for that next stage in the grieving process... I expected a call from Precious Memories to address the payment method. Instead, they simply shipped him to me and I was asked to pay the money upfront to the mailman at the doorway of my home... I was completely startled as I was not informed that this was their way of conducting their business transactions and even more overwhelmed with having to face the dreaded moment of holding him once again, only this time, in a small flowered box...

Tears since shed with kisses and hugs, I sit with him here on my lap. In a beam of sunshine cast on the living room floor, we sit together; envisioning his gorgeous, silky black fur shimmering in the golden rays… With a wet black nose glistening, bright eyes of sorrel glowing in the shine, he peacefully snores in the gentle breeze.

He is with me now… My CC will always be with me…Loving you forever My Precious Angel, My Baby Boy.
Sweet Dreams, Sweet Dreams.
You will always be in my heart. Love ~❤~ Your Forever Mama


“When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things 
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”

The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry

http://www.gratefulness.org/poetry/peace_of_wild_things.htm

Dec 04, 2012
Eyes of spirit
by: Wess

Hi Aimee,

I am so sorry for your loss. Oh my, yes, I would catch my Siah staring at me, endlessly. I have never had a pet do that before. It was surreal, magical. I would stop what I was doing at the time and have a silent conversation; looking deep into those beautiful brown eyes, as if our souls were intertwined and he was pulling me into his love.

The day before this all happen, in fact, I remember I caught him staring at me for the longest time as I sat on the couch working on the computer.

God, I miss him so and yes, it's like part of me has been ripped out, leaving me so grief stricken I haven't left my bed since Friday...
I am glad you have your other furry friends to comfort you. I am alone in this and it's pretty hard that way. That's why I have been reaching out to all of you. It seems strangers who really know that depth of love for a furry friend are the ones who truly understand.
My housemate hasn't bothered to check in on me since Friday... I feel like just packing everything up, or selling everything and leaving this area all together to start anew...
Well, thank you for reading my story and sharing yours. I pray we both find peace and comfort in our lives through this grieving period and are open to finding that precious love again in another sweet beautiful creature. Hug and kiss the sweetie angels you do have. You are lucky to have them helping you through this... :) ❤~Wess

Dec 03, 2012
Me too...
by: Aimee

Thank you and I am so sorry to hear about Siah... I lost my VooDoo on Nov 14th and I'm having a really rough time with it...I've lost dogs before but...
He was my 'child' for 13 years and I am lost without him. The grief only seems to be getting worse...the hole in my heart is getting bigger. Voo was my touchstone. He looked at me with such love in his eyes...I would always say that he was my soul mate! And it really does feel like I lost half of who I am!
I was out of town on business when it happened and wasn't even there for the burial...I wrote him a letter before I left for the airport and it is with him now. I miss him so much! I hug his pillow at night and cry myself to sleep.
I have 2 other dogs that I love with all my heart...but Voo was different. I can't really explain why, but I believe you understand. I swear, sometimes I would catch him looking into my eyes like he knew me from somewhere else...
Anyway... glad to know I'm not alone when it comes to how hard this is. I wish you the peace in your heart that seems so far away right now.
A

Dec 02, 2012
Thank You for Caring...
by: Wess Staats

Thank you "Anonymous" and Joyce.

I so appreciate your taking the time to read my story. I have felt quite alone, spent the last three days in bed as I can't face dealing with his "things" yet... his water bowl, food bowl, food, toys, beds, blankets... It rips me apart to see it.

I've been sleeping with his harness as it still smells like him. I have spent all of today making a slideshow with a beautiful piece of music, "The World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies. It touches my soul...

I am living with a friend (his bedroom is above mine) who hasn't visited me for two days... That hurts as well...

I guess he just doesn't want to "deal" ?...Just doesn't understand ...

My heart aches so....

My Siah was with me everyday 24/7 ... Our days were planned around being together...

Well, thank you for caring...

❤,

~Wess

Dec 02, 2012
Your beloved Siah
by: Anonymous

I have just read your message with regard to your beloved Siah, my thoughts go out to you. it doesn't matter who or what it is who have passed, if we loved them, then we loved them. Thats the one thing nobody can touch, our memories of that loved one. Try to be strong and make sure you eat and look after yourself because this grief thing can get a grip. God Bless. I will include you in my prayers. jan xx

Dec 02, 2012
Your loss of Siah
by: Joyce Simmons

I pray for you in your loss. So many people do not understand the grief over a "pet" and expect us to get over it quickly. They are not pets, they are friends, family, companions and partners. I hope you will be able to heal as quickly as possible.

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