Not Just A Grandma, Our Rock

by molly

My grandma has always been such a huge part of our lives ever since we were born she's done everything in her power to be as close as us to possible. From babysitting us and having our own parades down Gilbert Ridge in the gator to taking us out to movies and dinners. She is the most loving kind-hearted woman you could ask for to be your grandmother. she has always came to all of our sporting events and our houses before high school dances. As you can tell she's more than a grandma to us. Recently she was diagnosed with lung and bone cancer, only about a month ago to be more accurate. Right now she is on her death bed. She had to be taken off chemo because she was too weak. They out her in hospice care and her doctor told her she had two days at the most to live. My entire family crammed into her little room last night while a priest anointed her. We all had to say our final goodbyes.. there has never been a harder time in my life. My cousins fiance showed her her wedding dress and my grandma just bawled. Looking into the eyes of all of her kids, my aunt and uncles was terrifying. It's one of the worst feelings to know someone isnt going to be in your life much longer and there isn't anything you can do about it. She won't get to see me run for homecoming queen which she's all for, cheer my senior year, graduate, see my cousins grow up and spend their days with them like she did with us. There is a hole in my heart already and it's never going to be replaceable. I don't want to go on without her :(

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Jul 19, 2013
Not Just A Grandma, Our Rock
by: Doreen U.K.

Molly You are in such a hard place right now and what you are feeling is normal but also very painful and hard to bear.
My husband died 14 months ago of lung cancer and I had to go through the same experience. My husband suffered extreme pain and loss of quality of life for over 3yrs. where I nursed him and had to look into the sad face of a man who was dying and I could nothing to save him. I was a desperate woman trying to hold onto her husband and sent out prayer all over the world for healing. But He wasn't healed. I was hurt deeply by his death. I know first hand what it feels like to see someone you love deeply die a slow death before your eyes knowing he doesn't want to die. He wants to live and he is powerless and at the mercy of DEATH. I don't believe all cancer can be fought. Lung cancer is the hardest cancer to detect and by the time they find out it is almost too late. WE all feel the same way you do. "I don't feel like going on living." especially when seeing all the events our loved one will miss. The family gatherings that will be no more and if they continue some family members will be missing and so life will never be the same again for any of us. We just find a way to go on with our lot in life and restructure our lives differently so we can bear it. It is early days for you. Be gently with yourself and each other. You will find your way back from your loss.

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