Not Only My Mother - My Best Friend
(Burleson, Tx, USA)
March 12, 2014 was the day my life would never be the same. At the age of 66, my precious mom died unexpectedly by a heart attack. I rushed to her home after my husband retrieved me from work and told me of the loss. I laid with her in her bed holding her hand and brushing her hair with my fingers. It was all so surreal. How could she be dead when she is right here? When the medical examiner arrived I left the home as I did not want it have that memory in my head. On my way home my step dad called and my phone said mom calling with her picture and for a moment my heart skipped a beat as I knew she was still here. The following days and weeks were of shock and disbelief. I still pick up the phone to call her about some random thing I would normally call her about. I feel so alone. Everyone around me says you need to move forward. You are strong be strong. I want to scream at them - MY MOTHER IS GONE I CAN NEVER SEE HER TOUCH HER TALK TO HER AGAIN MY MOTHER IS GONE. Not only did I lose my mother I lost my best friend. If she were here she would be the one not pushing me, but sitting beside me waiting patiently for me to grieve and grieve with me. I breakdown daily over her. I get told she wouldn't want you to do this. They don't know what she would want. But she knows how I would/am feeling and understand. It's almost been two months since I lost the perfect mother for me. I saw the word mom in block letters today at the store, I had to leave. She pops into my head at anytime and the tears start rolling. When will I be able to think of her and smile? I don't feel I will ever move past this pain and emptiness I have now.