Not ready to say goodbye
by Missy Gilliam
(Upper sandusky Ohio)
the day before Don died
my husband and I were on vacation in North Carolina. After spending a nice quiet day together doing nothing but relaxing and a little shopping. We then went to dinner around 7pm and spent a couple hours there talking with our daughter and some of her friends. While he was driving us back from dinner he said "well my shoulder hurts again,(he thought because where it hurt it was his rotator cuff) can you hand me a tylenol?"As soon as he took the pill he said "See Missy its done hurting already". Thats when he slummped over and died. He was 48 I am 44. That was July 20 2012, we buried him July 27 2012, our 23 wedding anniversary would have been the very next day.
We had just began our life as empty nesters and had so many plans for our future. My heart breaks for him that he worked so hard for us and now he is gone just that quick. My heart is broken and I am crushed. How does a spouse go on? How do I find this new normal everyone tells me about? my identity has always been wife, and mom. Now Im mom to kids who are finding their own way in the world as they should be, but who am I now? I was Missy, Donnys wife and thats all I ever wanted to be. Now what?
I love you Donny, Forever and a day