It’s been almost 5 months and nothing has changed. I am still in the same frame of mind that I have been since the day he died. No answers from the coroner’s office (almost 5 months and still no death certificate). How am I expected to continue when I can’t even find out how he died? Started seeing a counselor and she tells me I need antidepressants but we can not find anyone that provides them for people with absolutely nothing. (I was left with no life insurance, homeless, jobless and relying on family members for complete support). I have no money to see a doctor in order to get a prescription and apparently there is no help available to me through my county. If the counselor can’t find resources for me how can I. She wants to put me on a 1 year plan. How can I think about a year from now when I don’t want to see tomorrow? No I am not going to hurt myself but I just wish my time would come so I don’t have to wake up and live each day alone again. I do not see a future. Loneliness is such a sad thing. I just want something to look forward to. This is not the first time I have posted on this site and I am sure it won't be the last. i just felt like I needed to vent. Thanks for listening.