November 26, 2010

This of all days was the worst for me for 2010. The night before me and my husband were getting ready to go shopping on Black Friday. We made it to the mall and wal-mart and did our shopping. At 6:30 am I had received a phone call from my uncle. It was the worst phone call I had ever received. "Papa passed away" he said. Immediately tears came to my eyes. I kept thinking to myself that it was just a really really bad dream that I was stuck in and couldn't wake up no matter how hard I tried.

At his visitation I seen him laying there in his coffin and again I instantly started crying. He didn't look like himself at all. I kept thinking to myself "that is not my papa. It can't be." The funeral was horrible. To this day i still don't want to believe he is gone. I haven't been able to cry since the funeral. A few tears here and there, but never really a full cry session. I know I'm not done grieving for him, but I find it hard to cry these days.