October 10th 2012, the saddest day of my life
by Sandy Pohl
Its been a little over 2 months since my beloved Ronnie went to work that day....I talked to him at noon and he said he had a full route of deliveries. He worked for FedEx as a courier driver, he told me he would call me when he was finishing up his route. That call never came.
My story started 24 years ago when I met Ronnie, I was 20 he was 35. Despite all the years difference in our age and everyone telling us it would never last, it did. I knew that one day I would probably be without him simply because of the big gap in our ages, but certainly not now, not like this. When we met we fell in love immediately, we had two sons together, they are 21 and 19, he raised my 24 year old daughter as his own. Life for us wasn't always easy or grand, man, we scraped to pay bills and provide for our kids but no matter how hard time were we always got through it together.
On Tuesday October 9th, Ronnie got home from work at 9:30am, his usual time, he came in changed clothes, took our little "grandson" down to change with him and got "lunch" for them both, he ate and laid on the couch like most other days, but this day he didn't play with Memphis too much or get up to much, by around 3:30 I was almost aggravated with him for laying around so long. I asked him why he was so tired and he said he didn't really know, he got up and went to his Tuesday night bowling league with our son and came home...he refused dinner that night and when I went to our room to check on him he said he didn't feel good. He asked me what chest pain felt like, I told him it was different in all people, he said he didn't have pain but felt as if he couldn't catch his breath. He walked alot, so I didn't know he meant right then and there. I told him to call off the next day and I would get him into see the doctor, he said no he had an appt in 2 weeks he would just talk to the doctor then.
We went to bed that night for that last time as husband and wife, he pulled my arm across him and told me how much he loved me. This was an expression of emotion that was unusal for Ronnie, I told him how much I loved him and we fell asleep arm in arm..he got up and went to work that morning and as I said I spoke to him at noon...I laid down with our grandson and when I woke at 2:30 I called my sister, we talked on the phone for 10 minutes or so and then I called him at 2:56...he didn't answer...I went to the bathroom and changed Memphis' diaper and got him a snack when my phone rang...I thought it was Ronnie calling me back like he often did when he missed my call due to a delivery...but this was the call that changed my life forever....
The voice on the other end of the line asked if I was Ronnie's wife, I said yes, she asked if I had been advised that he was at the Hospital in Dayton, I said no and asked what was wrong, a feeling of doom and dread began to wash over me....she said she couldn't discuss it on the phone but to gather my family and get there as soon as possible. I didn't have a car that day because he had taken mine to work, I told the nurse that I needed to know she again said she couldn't discuss it on the phone. I told her that my daughter would get fired if I called her home from work for a broken toe...she said "No, Mrs. Pohl, he doesn't have a broken toe, its serious and you need to get her as soon as possible"....those words will forever ring in my head.
I got my grandson picked up and daughter home from work, I told her all that I knew she came in and her, myself and my youngest son headed to the hospital, I called his mother, told her the story, she too headed to the hospital, my oldest son was on a job site and had to be transported from the site to the hospital...he was the last of the family to arrive. When I got to the hospital (I was first with my daughter and son) they put us in "that room", the one filled with tissues, pictures of Jesus and how to deal with your grief books and I knew that from that moment on my life would never be the same.
About 20 minutes later the dr and nurse came in and asked who was who, I identified myself as his wife, i pointed out his children and mother...she then asked us if we knew why Mr. Pohl had been brought in that day, I told her we had been given no information. Very dryly and clinically she began to recite that he collapsed on the job, a bystander started CPR, the EMTs arrived and continued resuscitation efforts and tried shocking his heart, he arrived with no pulse and flat line...they continued advanced life support only to pronounce him dead at 3:04pm....I couldn't, still can't, believe that my 58 year old husband, who was in good health, went to the doctor every 3 months, took his medicine daily, who golfed, and bowled, had just dropped dead from a heart attack...how could this be?
I have bad days and worse days...I'm hoping that by sharing my story someone out there can relate to what I am going through....I can't bring myself to put his stuff away, or sleep in our room, I miss him so much the pain feels like it might crush my chest at times..
I miss you Ron Pohl...I don't know how I will ever be okay with this..I'm angry at God, which I know is wrong, you see every night when I crawled into bed next to him, I said my prayers and I thanked God for giving me such a loving supportive husband, a good man, not a rich man, not a gorgeous man, just a good man, a man that loved me for me, through good and bad, thick and thin, richer for poorer, just as our vows said he would..and then he was gone...and I'm broken, just broken, its the only way I can describe it....