One Month Ago Today..... I miss you Rudy!

by Robin
(Albuquerque,NM)

Today has been one month since my brother Rudy passed away. I miss him so much! I don't really know how I'm feeling right now. I want to cry but I can't I want to scream but I can't. I'm struggling with some of my siblings as they are being distant with my parents and I don't understand why they would not want to be with my parents on Easter and celebrate Rudy being with our dear Lord. I pray that Rudy helps my siblings see what they have in front of them before its too late. I want to hold my brother right now.

I still can't comprehend that he will not be with us on Sunday. It feels like he is away like he sometimes did but he will be there for Sunday brunch....

Rudy would have been excited to have all of us together. He was quiet but he was kind, he would sit back and watch all of us and smile, he always gave me a hug and say I love you Rowie. My son tells me I loved when Uncle Rudy would hug me and say you are a good kid. I will so miss that on Sunday.

I miss and I love your brother!

:(

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Mar 28, 2013
Thanks
by: Anonymous

Ms. Doreen,
Thanks for your comforting words. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your husband. I can only imagine what it feels like to lose the love of your life.

I went to a counselor last week cuz I thought I was going crazy, I could not stop crying. The lady was so helpful to me. After asking me questions about my brother and my family and of course about my self she told me that I was feeling abandonment. Gosh after she said that it was really true...

I want to talk about my brother and I want to cry but when I'm around friends or family they just run. They have no idea what I'm going thru and don't know how to respond. I needed to talk to someone I needed to cry and not be judged. She was great. I will be going to a group grief support group next week and I'm looking forward to being around people who understand what I'm going thru.

Finding this website has been such a relief for me and getting emails from you. Thank you.

Doreen, if you want to chat more feel free to email me. robinrortiz7@gmail.com

Mar 28, 2013
One Month Ago Today..... I miss you Rudy!
by: Doreen U.K.

Robin it has only been one month and you are still raw in grief. Trying to cry, and express any feeling and emotion can be really hard. I feel the same way. I felt at one point that there was something wrong that I couldn't feel anything. I was so calm and serene and accepting.
I may be stuck in grief or suffering frozen grief. I feel I am thawing out now and feeling and expressing more sorrow over my loss of my husband.
It is at times of celebration that we feel our loss more.
Your siblings being distant may be their way of coping by being alone. But it does make one wonder what is going on. I am find out that this seems to be the norm between relatives. I go through the same problem and I have heard of many others who express the same feelings. This adds to our grief by leaving us more lonely and more isolated with our grief. In many families a loss can bring us together more or distance us from each other. These are two extremes. I have a balance of both happening to me. But the phone calls are less and visiting me is less and I feel abandoned. I know how you feel.
I hope that on Sunday you can come together with your parents and enjoy the day. May you all have such an enjoyable day in each other's company sharing stories and good times and just being together. The others who choose to stay away it will be their loss. Happy Easter.

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