One tough chic...

by Peggy/Rick Trimper
(Manchester, Pa)

I lost my wife of 9 years and 17 days to cancer on Nov. 20,2012. She fought it and was winning. beating it 7 times, but the 8th time just took her body over. I miss her so. I met her on Dec.21, 2002 had our first date on Jan.3,2003 and were together from that day on. Now she's gone and a big part of me is gone too. This sucks. I know you guys have the cure but it's all about the money.

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Feb 16, 2013
one tough chic
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband of 22 years suddenly on Nov. 20, 2012 - the day my life changed forever. We were preparing to go on vacation that Friday and I returned from getting my hair done to find him dead on the bed, legs still crossed, still sitting up as he had been playing Nintendo when I left. He was so excited about our upcoming trips and the upcoming Christmas season. He had put up most of our decorations, including the Christmas tree. I did get some joy from this final gift from him. He came to me in a vision the night he died and I take great comfort from that. There are also other little things that happen that show me he is still looking out for me. I miss him so much but i try to carry on and work through this grief process. Some day things will be better but they will never be the same. I love you, Ted

Jan 01, 2013
by: rick

you have said all I have felt. Helplessness. I spent new years night at her grave site. I think and know I can't continue to do that. It just tears me up so much and I must move on. But I miss her so much. On the money issue, we have private insurance and we spent over 4 million (usd) with the insurance companys. Thats not counting co-pays. I know Steve and Peg are with God. Happy new year, God is with you Doreen.

Dec 30, 2012
by: Doreen U.K.

Rick this is the most painful part of our GRIEF. The knowledge and helplessness of our loved ones looking into our face with that pleading look, which says. "I don't want to be here in this place of going to die." "I want to live"
Rick there is nothing you could have done for your Peggy. She was helpless. You were helpless. We had to observe and Care for them. This all we could have done. But it still haunts me seeing Steve's face with that HELPLESS look and shrug of the shoulders which says it all. "I didn't want this." "I can't get out of it." " My destiny is sealed." "There was so much I wanted to do and won't be able to do it now." I don't even have to think of these things. IT IS JUST THERE. Part of the suffering. Part of the Cancer. Part of the UNKNOWN. WE Tread the Valley of Sorrow now for How long? NO ONE KNOWS.
You are right. IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. The oncologists get a fee for referring a patient for Chemotherapy. Gentler forms of Chemotherapy are available but Very Expensive and for PRIVATE PATIENTS ONLY. Here in England many people cannot get Chemotherapy due to their Postode (zip code lottery) If you live in the right area you may get lucky. If not you are denied the drug that can buy you time or put you in remission. I have lost FAITH in the medical profession. The government sets the precedent for what happens in one's care. My husband was in pain. He was denied the pain relief syringe driver (which holds the pain relief medication) due to a lack of funding resources. It is a very long road of grief for us. I hope you have supportive family and friends to help you through your grief. It does help and make a difference to how we move forward. It hurts when we suffer in Isolation and very ALONE. May God Comfort you in your grief and sorrow.

Dec 29, 2012
by: Rick

Peg said that she didn't want to die too. It haunts me daily that I couldn't do anything to help her. There'e a hole that can never be filled.

Dec 21, 2012
I'm so sorry.
by: Anonymous

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my King the very same day. He walked out the door for a walk and I didn't say goodbye. He was my best friend in the world, my hero, my heart and my sunshine. You are in my prayers, my friend. Pax tecum.

Dec 16, 2012
One tough chic.....
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for the loss of your wife to cancer. She fought a long hard battle. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to lung cancer 7 months ago. My husband fought for 3yrs.39days with an incurable, inoperable, rare aggressive cancer caused by working with asbestos. My husband's body was taken over by the cancer and he died a slow painfull death. It will take a long long time for us to come to terms with our loss. It often doesn't seem as if this has happened and we wake up thinking this was all a dream. Cancer is different for everyone. Just hearing the word CANCER conjures up feeling that say " I AM GOING TO DIE." I can't imagine how a person copes with the thought that he is dying and all the questions show on their faces from "I DON'T WANT TO DIE." " I HAVEN'T FINISHED THINGS I WAS GOING TO DO." "I AM NOT READY." "DOES IT HURT" This is such a hard battle to fight. It is the family who is fighting the cancer with the individual struggling with all their feelings and the illness. I hope that we all get to a place of recovery from our grief that will help us come to terms with our loss and Heal from this.

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