One year ago

I lost my partner at 34. We lived together and when I woke in the morning I found his lifeless body in our bathroom. I am struggling with the reality that a year has gone by....not sure where the time went. My world changed overnight. I could not go back to our apartment. I am blessed that a dear friend moved my things out for me. I had to leave my job as I was 3 hours away from family and was not able to cope with work.
He was depressed from not having a job and he took scripts that were deadly. It was not suicide it was an escape for him to get high without knowing he had a heart condition that he was unaware of. The paramedics were even shocked to find someone so fit in his state. I knew he was dead when I found him. I have never found a dead person but I just knew. The house was not the same when I woke up...cannot describe it but something was off. Now that 1 year has passed I find myself crying more and more depressed. I feel as if no one really understands my grief from not only losing him but the flashbacks of finding him and working on him. Truly my worst nightmare came true. I do have a doctor I see on a regular basis Nd I highly suggest it to anyone grieving.

Comments for One year ago

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Mar 15, 2012
Agree with keep conversation going
by: Anonymous

I too was hospitalized because I wanted to know what he experienced. I originated this conversation with the passing of my 34 year old boyfriend. Had I know about this sight and the support it provides that immediately brings a bit of ease....any ease is a tremendous help. I keep you all in my prayers and hope we continue to support one another the best we can.

Mar 14, 2012
Keep the conversation going
by: Anonymous

No matter a day or years....we all are still suffering . It is vital for our well being to be able to connect because we all do stand the feeling of grief, pain, loss , and hopelessness . We need the support of each other to move on an be present for those who have not experienced it. I sleep better at night knowing I am not alone. We have never met face to face but there is a bond and I believe that because we understand the pain we can work through it. I wish I knew of this one year ago. Because of all of this and feeling alone I did want to take my own life and find out what happened to him and his jounrey when he passed in our home. Well it was not my time to find out but I embrass those who have the same questions I did and still do. At the end of the day, we are nor ready to find out. We still have more here to accomplish here. As horrific and heartbreaking it is, support of people who have gone through it is essential.

Mar 14, 2012
Praying for comfort
by: Anonymous

I am very sad to hear of your husbands passing. I am so grateful for finding this site. It becomes diffult fo most of it no one can truly feel yhr hurt and pain both physically and emotionally. Having to find a loved one is traumatic but I have found that I would rather it be me then anyone else calling me with the news. The moment have that day will never be erased but I find some comfort in knowing I was with him in his final evening. I pray for you and the many out there that have been through such tragedy. Please. Stay in touch. I feel this forum helps us to under and comfort one another .xoxo

Mar 14, 2012
m so sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

It makes me so sad to hear your story, I found my husband in bed, he died in his sleep and its been almost 3months, and it so hard to deal with, some days are good and some are bad..I want you to know that you are in my prayers

Mar 11, 2012
Thank you Krissy
by: Anonymous

Thank you for the kind message. The grief comes in waves. I am so sorry to hear about your son....awful for everyone involved and loved him. Lately I catch myself just shaking my head that this all really happened.
My heart goes out to you and your loved ones. One month is so fresh. I wish you some peace.

Mar 11, 2012
I understand the pain
by: Krissy

Im very sorry fr your loss, the pain is unlike anything, I have no words to even describe it so I wont try....I just wanted you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you, your in my heart because I know what youre going through. A little over a month ago my 21yr old son was given pain medication that was as strong as morphine but far more deadly, he was taken to the ER where instead of giving him narcan and monitoring his conditon they sent him home instructing him to "sleep it off" he slept off and on throughout that day and the next morning when went in to wake him he had died. The shock of finding my son, my baby laying in his own bed gone is hard for me to accept or handle. I know how hard it is, youu keep thinking there must have been someting you could have done to save him or what if you had done this or that, all the"what ifs", I am told time heals all wounds but honestly I dont believe this is a wound that will ever heal, for you its been a year and the pain and hurt is just as fresh as the day it happend and I know it will be for me too.
PLease know you are not alone and there are people who may be strangers to you but all share a common thread,loss of our loved ones, my thoughts and prayers are with you......

Krissy, the mother of Jesse

Mar 10, 2012
Opiates
by: Anonymous

His choice was opiates...devastating

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