One year & one month

by Krissy
(Oh, Potato Land...)

Think back a month ago, 6 months ago, a year...
I look back one year and one month to when my father died. There is always a part of me that will hurt; but I look back to where I was a year ago, and I am so much stronger now. I'm still living my life, and I'm happy.

A year ago, I was struggling to finish up with tech school, taking "bathroom" breaks to cry and pray and just talk to my dad. Now I can go to work with a smile on my face and I have gained the ability to open up my heart to some people. Even though I felt so weak, broken, and torn at one point, I have grown and slowly been piecing myself back together.

We don't realize it, and we all have our "setbacks," but if you really look at it, you're stronger today than you were yesterday, and the day before. Remember how far you've come, and how much that person loved you, and how much they still love you.

And remember, when God takes someone you love, it is not because He wants you to suffer, it just means He has finished preparing their seat in Heaven.

God bless and stay strong.
For newcomers, this site has helped a lot, it's a place where people truly know what you are going through, have gone through, and are experiencing.

Comments for One year & one month

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Jan 10, 2011
Losing Daddy
by: Elise

Beautiful words!! It's 10 months since I lost my Daddy, and at the time, my identity. I have just gone through the first Christmas without him and his birthday is almost here. Then comes the anniversary of the day I lost him..... all so hard. But all milestones that I know I need to get through. Your words are so lovely... and so very, very true. Although I have not made the 1st year mark, my life is slowly getting better, and I know my Dad would be so proud to hear it!

Take careXXX

Jan 07, 2011
One year and a month
by: Mari

Thank you Krissy. Your words mean a lot. It has been a year and a month since I lost the love of my life. I am coming along better too. Of course I miss him but am going on with my life.

The one year memorial service really helped as my Pastor Horacio said the words that really helped me feel better. He said,''To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.'' He encouraged the youth and he knew my husband well. I had not known that my husband actually helped the pastor start his church and now we have 7 churches in the world and more coming.
Time heals and God heals.

The day before yesterday a little great grandaughter came into the world. Her name is Aubrey and she weighs 8 pounds 3 oz. She is alert and was looking at me intensely as I held her. She is our gift from God. I am a great grandma now.

Thank you for your encouragement. May God bless all of you on this board. Mari

Jan 06, 2011
thankyou.x
by: louise

I have just lost my dad and reading your blog is comforting.xxx

Jan 06, 2011
Thank you-Thank you
by: Pat J

What wonderful words of encouragement. My husband passed away just a little over 4 weeks ago and I don't feel like I'm making much progress. I think you're right though ~ I think I do feel a little better than I did yesterday. The progress is so small that I'm not noticing it.
You are so right ~ I know my husband is with God. He's not suffering anymore. I miss him so much. He suffered a great deal and I guess it was selfish of me to want to keep him here.
Thank you. PJ

Jan 06, 2011
Miss You...
by:

Krissy,

I was thinking the same thing. Today is a year and a month since he died. I wondered when I would stop noticing that it was the 6th of the month but had to also think...I have come so far, The grief is not as debilitating as it was.

Yes the hurt is Still there but there are more good days than bad. Little things will remind me of him. This morning I forgot to set the alarm clock and woke up late. In a frenzy to get to work it occurred to me that Paul always was responsible for that small task. He set the alarm every night. I sat still for a moment thinking about that and went on with my day. Normally I would fall apart at that thought.

It did occur to me that it had been a Year & a month. But I did not cry. Did not have to excuse myself to have a mini breakdown... So I suppose we are managing to Begin living our lives without him. Or should I say with him in our heart but not at our side.

That did not even seem possible at one point did it? We have come so far and should be proud of ourselves for surviving grief. It is THE hardest thing that I have ever accomplished.

I still Miss and Love your Dad. I do not think that will ever leave. But now I can smile thinking of him and how wonderful he was, and how damn lucky I was that he chose me to Love.

One day I hope that kind of Love for you, And ALL of my kids. (even Cam:) And that's all we ever wanted Paul and I, for you to be happy. That in my mind is what success is, just happiness.
XOXOMOM#2

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